Rhonda's Little Brother
by KaBlamoid4Life
Summary: In this Hey Arnold! fanfiction, Rhonda's comfortable and spoiled life of being an only child comes crashing to an end when her parents decide to adopt an orphan... a little bad-a hood kid named Lil' Pee-Wee.
1. The End of the World

(AN: This takes place after Hey Arnold's last season, the movie, and the Jungle Movie. I guess it would happen in The Patakis' run.)

Chapter 1: The End of the World

Rhonda Wellington Lloyd woke up from a peaceful slumber to the sweet tune of birds chirping just outside her slightly open window. With a stretch and a yawn, she got up out of her luxurious bed, walked into her own bathroom, and looked in the mirror at her pretty face. She then applied a deep pore-cleaning lotion on her face, turned the water on in her old-fashioned bathtub, undressed (but not before closing the doors and windows in case Curly happened to be peeping on her), and got in the tub. There, Rhonda used a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then she applied an herb-mint facial mask which she left on for 10 minutes while she prepared the rest of her routine. Ultimately, Rhonda applied moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

"Ah," Rhonda said with a self-satisfied grin, "You ARE the looker, Miss Lloyd." She then left the bathroom and started to get dressed while planning her day. She was going to P.S.118, and the first thing she was going to do was show off her brand new, expensive red shoes. Then, after school, she was going to go to the movies with Nadine. Finally, she was going to come home and relax in her bedroom to the sound of Madonna and the Talking Heads.

It was going to be a wonderful day...

...

"I'm off to school!" Rhonda eagerly announced to her parents, Buckley and Brooke, as she started to walk out the door. But Buckley called her into the living room. Wondering what was going on, Rhonda walked into the living room where Buckley and Brooke were sitting on the sofa.

"Rhonda, dear, there's something we need to tell you," Brooke said with an excited smile.

"What is it?" Rhonda asked, "Are we going to the Bahamas this summer?"

Buckley shook his head. "Actually, no." Rhonda's shoulders slumped with disappointment, so he added "We may... but not right now. But it's just that... well, you've lived a fairly carefree and privileged life."

"And it has been a joy," Rhonda smiled.

"Indeed it has," Buckley said. "But... well, you're getting older, and your mother and I think you need to learn some responsibility."

As soon as the word "Responsibility" came out of Buckley's mouth, Rhonda's brow furrowed. "This isn't going to involve volunteer work, is it?"

"Oh, no honey!" Brooke said. "Instead, we've been looking to spread our wealth to someone less well off that we are, and we found just the cutest little boy you've ever seen at the orphanage!"

Rhonda's eyes went wide. "You don't mean that..."

"That's right, Rhonda!" Buckley said with a smile. "You're going to be a big-"

...

All eyes were on Rhonda as she sulked her way into the bus, far from her usual confident self. She sat next to Nadine and folded her arms. "Hi, Nadine," she said drolly.

"Hi, Rhonda," Nadine replied, "What's the matter? You're not acting like yourself."

With a heavy sigh, Rhonda explained the situation.

"I'll tell you what the matter is... Mommy and Daddy are adopting some boy from the orphanage! I'm gonna have a little brother!"

This didn't phase Nadine a bit. "Why's that so bad?"

"Why? Because I've gotten all the attention!" Rhonda snapped. "Now I'm going to have to share the spotlight with some... twerp I don't even know! I don't even know how he's going to dress!"

"Is that so bad?" Nadine asked.

"Nadine," Rhonda glared, "It's worse than you could possibly imagine." She buried her face into her hands, and Nadine put a comforting arm around her.

"Cheer up, Rhonda," she said, "You haven't even met this kid yet! He could be really cool!"

"Yeah," Helga butted in from behind them. "OR, he could be this perfect little angel who your parents just ABSOLUTELY ADORE, and leave you in the cold, watching as they coddle and praise him while ignoring you! They may even start calling you by his name!"

Rhonda and Nadine turned around and glared at Helga.

"Oh... sorry," Helga said. "It's just that, y'know, OL-ga's living at home, and... I'm not really helping, am I? I'll just shut up, then..." She just slumped back in her seat and crossed her arms.

...

Rhonda moped through the rest of the school day - she didn't even feel like showing off her new shoes. It was all she could do to keep herself from just screaming her head off. Sure, Nadine could be right... but so could Helga...

Finally, the day was over, and Rhonda walked out the front doors of P.S.118 with Nadine.

"So, you still wanna go see that movie?" Nadine asked, trying to cheer her best friend up.

"I'd love to," Rhonda sighed. "But I've got to go with Mommy and Daddy and pick up... ugh... my 'little brother'," she said, using finger-quotes to get her point across. Just then, Buckley and Brooke drove up to the sidewalk in their fancy sports car.

"Oh Rhonda!" Brooke said with a smile, "It's time to pick up our new addition!"

Rhonda faked a smile. "That's... great, Mommy! I'll be right there!" She waved goodbye to Nadine and hopped in the back seat of the car, which took off for the orphanage.

"Isn't this exciting?" Buckley asked Rhonda, "You're going to be a big sister!"

"Yeah, that's just... great!" Rhonda said, full of fake enthusiasm. "Just great... just great..."

"Oh, you'll love him!" Brooke said. "He's such a doll! But he's had a rough life, so just try to make him feel at home, okay?"

"Oh, I'll make him feel at home... don't worry..."

Eventually, they reached the large, run-down looking orphanage, and Buckley and Brooke got out. "Now, stay right here, Rhonda..." Brooke said, and she pointed to the oak double doors at the entrance. "...Before you know it, we'll be coming out of those doors with your new brother!"

"I can't wait!" Rhonda lied. But as Buckley and Brooke headed into the orphanage, she gave a heavy sigh before clenching her fists, closing her eyes, and making a wish:

"Please be cool. Please be cool. Please be cool. Please be cool..."

Rhonda looked at the doors of the orphanage, dreading seeing what was about to come out... and then, the doors opened, Buckley and Brooke came out, carrying suitcases and with huge grins on their faces... and Rhonda saw him:

A short little African-American boy, wearing a purple baseball cap, a black T-shirt with the image of a skull on it, a purple hoodie, and desert camo pants.

"Oh my God..." Rhonda gasped, "His pants don't even match the rest of his clothes!" But they were approaching, and Rhonda put on that fake smile again.

"Rhonda, get out and meet your new brother!" Brooke said. Rhonda opened her car door and stepped out, to find herself towering over the kid. He was smiling at her... but something in his eyes suggested a huge mischievous streak.

"Uh... hi! I'm Rhonda."

"Wazzup, Rhonda?" the kid asked. "I'm Lil' Pee-Wee - that's "Lil'" with an L-I-L!"

Rhonda couldn't help but chuckle. "Okay, Lil' Pee-Wee - but what's your REAL name?"

"I told you! Lil' Pee-Wee."

"Well, um.. nice to meet you!" Rhonda said, voice full of fake enthusiasm. Meanwhile, Buckley took a digital camera out of his sports coat.

"Okay, you two... how about a hug to put in the scrapbook?" Buckley asked. Rhonda looked at Lil' Pee-Wee... Lil' Pee-Wee looked at Rhonda... and they hugged. It was about the most awkward hug of Rhonda's life.

"Awwww!" Brooke cooed, "Isn't that just so sweet? You're going to love each other so much!"

"Heh, indeed we are," Rhonda said as she subtly pushed Lil' Pee-Wee off of her. "Indeed we are."

"Well, time to get home!" Buckley said, checking his Rolex watch. Rhonda got in the back, Lil' Pee-Wee sat next to her, and they were off.

Rhonda stared vacantly out at the street as Buckley drove them home. "Well, he could have been worse," she thought to herself, "But... what is with that outfit? Oh well... I suppose I should try to get to know the little shrimp."

"So, what kind of music do you like?" Rhonda asked. "I'm a huge Madonna fan, myself."

Lil' Pee-Wee chuckled. "Aw man, that ain't cool! Now 2Pac, Notorious B.I.G., Big Pun, Snoop Dogg - THAT'S music!"

"Oh no," Rhonda thought, "I'm going to be hearing nothing but that "C"rap music!"

"Do you like playing videogames?" Lil' Pee-Wee asked.

"Um, no," Rhonda said.

"Do you like Legos?"

"Well... not really."

"Do you like gangster movies? Scarface, GoodFellas, all that?"

"Can't say I do."

"Man, you don't like anything!" Lil' Pee-Wee laughed.

"I do to!" Rhonda retorted. "I like fashion, nice clothes, designing things, parties... that kind of stuff."

Without saying a word, Lil' Pee-Wee stuck his tongue out.

"Oh boy," Rhonda thought, "Give me strength."

...

Finally, they got home. Lil' Pee-Wee looked around in awe as they walked through the front door.

"Now, Rhonda dear, why don't you show Patrick his room?" Brooke suggested.

"It's Lil' Pee-Wee!" the feisty little boy retorted. But Rhonda just shrugged and motioned for him to follow her upstairs.

"That's your real name?" Rhonda asked as they walked up the stairs. "Patrick?"

"No it ain't! It's Lil' Pee-Wee!"

"Well, frankly, I like Patrick better," Rhonda said as they reached the top. She led him to the guest bedroom - which just happened to be next to her room - and took him inside.

"Whoa..." Lil' Pee-Wee said as he looked at the plush room - it had a King sized bed, its own bathroom, a closet, a big-screen TV, and a window looking out at the skyline of Hillwood city. It wasn't that much different than Rhonda's room, only she didn't have that great view.

"Pretty impressive, huh?" Rhonda asked. She then made sure that Buckley and Brooke weren't nearby, and held Lil' Pee-Wee by the shoulders.

"Now listen here," she said, bringing her face so close to his that their noses were touching. "You may be the new boy, but I'll always be the top child! Alwa-"

"Rhonda?" Buckley called upstairs, "Could you help us carry Patrick's luggage up to his room? And then we need you to take out the trash."

Rhonda was horrified - she'd never been asked to take out the trash before. Lil' Pee-Wee just grinned.

"You were saying?"

Rhonda sighed and stormed out of the room.


	2. A New Life

Chapter 2: A New Life

Rhonda grumbled all the way out of the house as she hauled the trash bags to the can and shoved them in.

"So, I'm going to become their maid, just because that little twerp moved in? This is a disgrace."

With a sigh, Rhonda sat down on the steps of her house and lied back. It was around sunset, painting the sky an orange color, and people were coming home from work. Rhonda loved just sitting around at this time of day and people-watching - seeing who was cool, who was lame, who probably needed to be in a mental institution...

"I could be at the movie with Nadine," Rhonda muttered to herself. "Scratch that; I SHOULD be at the movie with Nadine. But NOOOO! Just HAD to adopt that little worm..."

"Hi, Rhonda!" Sid said as he walked up to Rhonda, surprising her.

"Oh, hiya, Sid," she replied, and he smiled. Rhonda could tell that he had a bit of a crush on her (ever since that incident in that disgusting cave with the chicken bones), but she didn't quite return the favor. His nose reminded her of a certain part of the male anatomy, for starters. "What's happening?"

"Not much," Sid shrugged. "What's happening with you? Your little brother moved in yet?"

Rhonda gave a heavy sigh. "Yes, and he's horrible! He dresses worse than Curly - well, not that bad, but still - he listens to that wretched rap crap, he..."

Suddenly, the door opened behind her and Buckley stepped out. "Rhonda, do you mind helping your mother do the dishes?"

Rhonda wanted to scream, but knew that it would make her look bad, so she just put on that fake smile again. "Sure, daddy!"

As Buckley went in and Rhonda followed, Sid couldn't help but gasp. "Rhonda Wellington Lloyd doing house work? I never thought I'd see the day!" Rhonda poked her head back out and scowled at him.

"Oh shut up! It's not funny!"

And with that, she slammed the door. Sid just chuckled and shook his head. "She doesn't know it, but this is probably the best thing for her!"

...

"Okay, Rhonda, this is all we have to do," Brooke told Rhonda. "We have to put all these dishes in the dishwasher, put in a dishwashing tab, close the door, and turn it on."

"Wow," Rhonda said, "That's a lot of work!"

"Not exactly, honey," Brooke said kindly. "Some people do it by hand!"

Rhonda gasped. "Seriously? Eeew, gross!"

"I know," Brooke said. "But let's get started. You hand me the dishes, and I'll put them in."

Rhonda stood over the sink and handed Brooke a couple of plates... but Brooke handed one of them back. "This one's still got food on it. Use the brush and get it off."

Rhonda grabbed a brush that was next to the sink, and with a cringe, started to get the food off. She then handed it to Brooke.

"Good, honey!"

...

With a sigh of relief, Rhonda walked into the living room - that horrible task was done! But her happiness faded when she saw Lil' Pee-Wee lounging on the couch.

"Yo Rhonda, what's up? Wanna watch Reservoir Dogs with me?"

Rhonda looked at the screen, and saw what looked like a guy hacking another guy's ear off with a knife. "Turn that drivel off! We're gonna watch 90210!"

"Oh no, we ain't!" Lil' Pee-Wee snapped.

"Oh yes, we are!" Rhonda retorted with a smirk. "This is MY TV! We watch what I wan-"

"Rhonda?" Buckley called.

"Yes, Daddy?" Rhonda called back, rolling her eyes. What menial task did they want her to do now?

"Could you come help me with the laundry?"

Rhonda gave a light sigh. "Yes, Daddy." She looked at Lil' Pee-Wee - now he was the one who was smirking.

...

"Okay Rhonda, we put some of our clothes in the washer, which is the machine to the left," Buckley explained to Rhonda. "We add some detergent and fabric softener, and then turn on the machine. And when it's done, we put the wet clothes in the dryer. And when THAT'S done, we take them out and either fold them or put them on hangers. It's rather simple, right?"

"I beg to differ," Rhonda said. "And I thought washing dishes was a lot of work!"

"Well, some people do it by hand," Buckley explained. "They use a washing board and then hang them up on a clothesline to dry. That's how my grandpa did it. It's amazing how far we've come, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Rhonda said as she grabbed a bottle of Tide and examined it. "So, do we put the whole bottle in?"

"No!" Buckley said. "That's too much! It'll ruin our clothes. We just want to put it in a little cup... like the lid of the bottle."

Rhonda sighed.

"Don't worry dear, you'll learn!"

...

It was finally time to go to bed. Rhonda got in her evening gown, and Buckley and Brooke came in.

"Goodnight, dear," Brooke said. "Sweet dreams."

"Yeah... great," Rhonda said. "Dreams of working like a mule!"

Buckley put his hand on her shoulder. "Rhonda, I know you think we're being hard on you, but we're not. You need to learn how to do these things, and get in the habit of doing them! Otherwise, you'll never survive in this world."

"I guess you're right," Rhonda said. "Goodnight."

After kissing Buckley and Brooke, they left the room... and then Lil' Pee-Wee came in.

"'Night, Rhonda," he said, and gave her a kiss. "It feels great being in your family!"

"I bet it does," Rhonda said. "Goodnight." She turned and tried to get in the bed, but Lil' Pee-Wee stopped her.

"Hey, aren't you gonna give me a kiss goodnight?" he asked. Rhonda sighed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Happy now?"

"Yeah," Lil' Pee-Wee said. "'Night, Rhonda." He left, and Rhonda closed the door behind him and got under the covers of her lavish bed. Now, after a day consisting of a horrible surprise, slave labor, and general misery, she could finally just lie back and relax. Rhonda clapped twice, and her lights turned off in response. Then, she rested her head on her fluffy pillow, closed her eyes, and started to fall asleep...

But suddenly, Rhonda jerked up as a loud hip-hop beat started up in the room next to her, and then, some guy started rapping:

You wanna fight? come fight me!

I'll hit ya with the "WA psh psh psh", SEE!

I get dirty after dark, I'll treat like Spielberg,

you get your a$$ kicked in the park!

OOOOH!

you don't believe me, the proof is in the pudding,

little boy in the hood, way before Cuba Gooding,

I flip scripts with the mad pa-style, freeze:

Music please!

Rhonda groaned "NOOO!" and held the pillows over her ears as the song continued.

I dribble rhymes like Basketball-ems,

people call me E.T.

(what's that, Shaq man?)

Extra-Tallems,

you better than Shaq-tack, fool, shut up liar,

I lean on the statue of liberty when I get tired!

Then I'll punch you in the stomach, I don't give a heck!

(hey yo, why you bug a hooker like that?)

Yo, she breathed on my neck,

people walk around like y'all, they got charred,

but I'm big like Gorilla, 6-7, large,

I kick rhymes like Moduck-Kwong you,

I smoke-smoke the mic,

I Chech and Chong you,

you don't like Shaq, frankly I don't give a da*n,

I know I got skills man, I know I got skills man...

Finally, Rhonda sat up, livid. "Another second of that tripe, and I'm gonna kill myself!" She got up out of bed and stormed into Lil' Pee-Wee's bedroom... to find him putting up hip-hop posters. The source of the racket - a big 80s boombox - was right next to the door, so Rhonda got his attention by pulling the plug.

"Hey!" Lil' Pee-Wee said. "I was listening to that!"

Rhonda put her hand on her hips and frowned. "Did it occur to you that other people live here and are trying to sleep? Hmmm?"

Lil' Pee-Wee paused. "Well... not really."

"Then keep that in mind, m'kay?" Rhonda asked. "The song sucked anyway!"

This made Lil' Pee-Wee gasp in horror. "That's the best song ever! "I Know I Got Skillz" by Shaq! You can't diss the Shaq!" Rhonda saw the CD case - Shaq Diesel - sitting next to the boombox. She picked it up and looked at the back - and sure enough, there was a song called "I Know I Got Skillz."

"'Skills' isn't spelled with a Z", Rhonda frowned.

"That's how Shaq spells it."

"Then 'Shaq' is an idiot," Rhonda said.

"No he's not! Shaq's got more money than you'll ever see in your life!"

To that comment, Rhonda just smirked and gave a sarcastic "Ha. HA."

"And what are you doing to your room?" she added, looking at all the posters. "You're ruining it!"

"No I ain't!" Lil' Pee-Wee spat. "I'm making it better! My own!"

"Well, Mommy and Daddy are gonna be really mad when they see this," Rhonda said as she started to leave the room. "Mark my words!"

...

The next morning...

...

"Oh, it's wonderful!" Brooke said as she and Buckley saw Lil' Pee-Wee's room, while Rhonda stood behind them and scowled with her arms folded. "You're really making yourself at home!"

"Mommy, he was playing some horrible "rap" song loud late last night," Rhonda said.

"Oh, that's fine," Brooke replied. "It's his room, he can do what he wants!"

"Bu-"

"OH, and we have an important announcement to make," Buckley said. "Rhonda dear, you've had a generous allowance... but we can't afford to give you both that much. So we'll split it between you!"

"WHAT?" Rhonda spat.

"Yes, you'll get half of your usual, and Patrick will get half of your usual! You'll still have a lot of money, and he won't be left out! It's perfect!"

"But Daddy!" Rhonda whined. "How will I afford my usual amenities?"

"Just save up!" Brooke said. "Don't spend all your money, but let it build up!"

Rhonda wanted nothing more in the world than to scream.

...

Her usual confident demeanor completely faded now, Rhonda came onto the bus... with Lil' Pee-Wee in tow. Everybody was watching them.

"So, is this your new brother?" Nadine asked.

"Yes..." Rhonda said, strained.

"Yo, the name's Lil' Pee-Wee," he said, shaking Nadine's hand. "Nice to meet ya!"

Nadine smiled. "Well, he's a pretty nice kid!"

"Yeah," Gerald said. "He's one cool cat!"

"Yeah, yeah," Helga said, and she looked at Lil' Pee-Wee. "Just don't get in my way."

Rhonda spent the entire bus trip wanting to disappear into her seat, as everyone else sung her new brother's praises.

It was going to be a loooong day.

...

"Class, we have a very special new student joining our tribe today," Mr. Simmons announced with his usual chipper enthusiasm. "His parents died, and he came from a rough neighborhood... but the family of none other than our own Rhonda Lloyd came through and adopted him! I'd like you all to meet Patrick Lloyd." Patrick stood up and came to the front of the class.

"S'up, y'all?" he asked. "First of all, my name ain't Patrick. It's Lil' Pee-Wee. Second of all, are there any bullies in the room? 'Cuz I can kick your butts without breaking a sweat!"

"Oh yeah," Helga said with a somewhat sinister grin, "We'll see how tough he is when he meets Old Betsy and the Five Avengers!" But Mr. Simmons shushed her, and she folded her arms and frowned.

"A challenger? Sweet!" Lil' Pee-Wee grinned. "And third... try to ignore my 'sister', Rhonda," he said, pointing to Rhonda - who was sitting as low as possible in her seat. "I've only known her for less than a day, and she's a royal pain!"

"Alright, I think that's enough," Mr. Simmons interrupted. "Thank you, Patri- um, Lil' Pee-Wee!" Lil' Pee-Wee went and sat down next to Rhonda, who shot him the dirtiest look imaginable.

...

Class was over, and it was time for lunch. After getting a sandwich and soda pop, Rhonda sat down with Nadine, Helga, Sid, and Stinky. Luckily, Lil' Pee-Wee had to "take a Lil' Pee-Pee" (his words), so Rhonda had time to herself.

"I like yer lil' brother, Rhonda," Stinky smiled. "He's one cool dude!"

"Yeah, whatever," Rhonda said. "He humiliated me in front of everyone! And what's worse... my parents cut my allowance in half and gave the other half to him!"

"Well, how much does that leave you with?" Nadine asked.

"200 dollars," Rhonda said. "Isn't that a joke?"

There was a brief silence... and then, before she knew it, practically the whole lunch room erupted with gales of laughter. Even Nadine was laughing it up! Rhonda looked around, horrified and angry at once.

"It's not FUNNY, you guys!" she growled. "Now I can't afford new shoes without saving for two weeks!"

But if anything, that just made everyone laugh even harder. Rhonda just folded her arms and scowled, in sheer disbelief that anyone would find her suffering THAT funny. But then...

"Alright, what's so darn funny!" Principal Wartz barked as he came into the room, hands on his hips and a stern expression on his face.

"Nothing, Principal!" Rhonda cried. "But for some reason, everybody finds it absolutely HILARIOUS that my allowance got cut from 400 dollars to just 200!"

As soon as she said that, Principal Wartz' stern demeanor faded completely, and a smile appeared on his face... and then he started rolling on the floor, tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks.

"Well, I NEVER!" Rhonda snapped, and she ran out of the lunchroom and into the hall... only to run into Lil' Pee-Wee.

"Yo Rhonda, what's the rush?"

Rhonda scowled, clenched her fists, and wanted to beat him up so bad... but instead, she grabbed him by the shoulders and looked right into his eyes.

"I... HATE... YOU..."


	3. It's On

Chapter 3: It's On

As Rhonda ran for the girl's restroom in a huff, Lil' Pee-Wee just shrugged and frowned. "What'd I do?" He walked over to the door of the restroom and knocked.

"Rhonda, what the heck?"  
>"JUST GO AWAY!" she screamed. "You are RUINING my life!"<br>"No I ain't!" Lil' Pee-Wee replied. "I haven't done anything! You're just being a stuck-up hussey!"  
>"I AM NOT STUCK-UP!" Rhonda screamed back. "Just go away!"<br>Lil' Pee-Wee rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse ME, Princess!" Giving up, he turned to go back to the lunchroom, only to see Nadine.

"What's her problem?" he asked her, "She's acting like I just ran over her dog!"  
>"Well, she can be like this," Nadine said. "But between that little comment you made about her in class, and the fact that you're being forced into her life, of course she's upset!"<br>"But that second one isn't my fault!"  
>Nadine sighed and put her hand on Lil' Pee-Wee's shoulder. "Look, I know. Rhonda's just... Rhonda. Let me go talk to her, she'll listen to me. We're best friends, after all."<br>"Okay, knock yourself out," Lil' Pee-Wee said. "But, hey... could you tell her that I'm sorry for picking on her like that? I'd do it myself, but..."  
>"Don't worry, I will," Nadine smiled. As Lil' Pee-Wee returned to the cafeteria, Nadine went into the bathroom, where Rhonda had locked herself in a stall and was curled up, sitting on the toilet lid, in a fetal position. Nadine couldn't see her, but she could hear the sobbing.<p>

"Rhonda," Nadine said, "Can we talk?"  
>"Nadine, you Benedict Judas!" Rhonda shouted. "You betrayed me! You didn't back me up, you didn't tell everybody to shut up... you just laughed right along with them!"<br>"I'm sorry, Rhonda!" Nadine said, "It's just that... I was surprised, that's all! I had no idea you got that much allowance! I just get five bucks!"

Rhonda sighed. "I know. That's why I never told you! So you wouldn't feel bad about it."  
>Nadine smiled. Rhonda didn't always show it, but she did have a heart. "Thanks, Rhonda. That was sweet of you."<br>"Anytime," Rhonda said. "But you stabbed me in the back!"  
>"I know," Nadine sighed. "And I apologize! I shouldn't have done that. Will you forgive me?"<p>

Rhonda sighed, stood up, and opened the stall door. Her eyes were red from crying, but she had a weak smile on her face.  
>"Alright, I forgive you," she said. "We don't want to go through THAT episode again..."<p>

The two girls smiled and hugged.

"Oh yeah, Pee-Wee said he was sorry," Nadine added. "For picking on you in front of everybody."  
>Just then, Rhonda's smiled turned into an angry scowl. "That little twerp... he thinks he can worm his way into MY heart! Not happenin',"<br>"But Rhonda, I think he really meant it," Nadine said. "It's not his fault he's being forced into your life, you know."

"But..." Rhonda tried to counter that comment, but she couldn't. Instead, she just said "Well, it really, really sucks."  
>"I know," Nadine said. "You'll get used to it, though."<br>"Fat chance."

Rhonda and Nadine returned to the cafeteria and sat down. But then, Lil' Pee-Wee came over and sat next to Rhonda.  
>"Hey, Rhonda?" he said. "I'm sorry, for... you know."<br>Rhonda just frowned. "I know what you're trying to do, and you can forget it! You're gonna play the victim with your tail between your legs, "poor me", you're gonna try and make me feel sorry for the poor little orphan boy... not going to happen. Considering how you act, I can't imagine what your parents were like!"

Everyone sitting near Rhonda looked at her with shocked expressions - even Helga looked surprised ("I'm just glad Arnold isn't here," she was thinking, "That would have hit a little close too home"), and Lil' Pee-Wee looked mortified.

"What?" Rhonda asked, shrugging her shoulders. "What did I do?"  
>"Rhonda, that was a low blow," Nadine said with disapproval.<br>"Even for you!" Phoebe added. Lil' Pee-Wee broke away from the table and ran off, and Phoebe followed him, concerned.

"Well, he IS an orphan," Rhonda shrugged, and Nadine shook her head. She loved Rhonda as a friend... but sometimes, Rhonda was pretty hard to stick by.

Lil' Pee-Wee ran outside to the playground and sat on a bench. He was sad that his "sister" brought up his parents... but more than anything, he was furious. How DARE she make that comment, when she didn't even know how they died! As he stewed, Phoebe came over and sat next to him.

"Um... hi, I'm Phoebe," she said.  
>"Hi, Phoebe," Lil' Pee-Wee said, trying to sound nice. "What's up?"<br>"I'm just worried about you," Phoebe replied. "Rhonda can be pretty mean, can't she?"  
>"Thanks. But I can't believe she actually said that!" Lil' Pee-Wee exclaimed. "She has no idea what my parents were like!"<p>

"Well... what were they like?" Phoebe asked, curious.  
>"They tried their best," Lil' Pee-Wee said. "We lived in a crappy neighborhood, but they tried to make it as good for me as possible. And then... well, you know."<p>

"I see," Phoebe said. "I apologize if I'm being overly intruding, but do you mind telling me what happened to them?"  
>Lil' Pee-Wee sighed - Phoebe seemed nice enough. "Okay.. but I warn you, it ain't pretty." He then leaned over and whispered in Phoebe's ear... and as he told her, her expression went from curiosity, to a frown, to horror, to looking close to tears.<p>

"Wow," Phoebe said, "I'm so sorry." She gave him a hug.  
>"Thanks, Phoebe," Lil' Pee-Wee said. "Man, why didn't I get you as a sister?"<p>

The school day was finally over - and so was the week. It was Friday. Rhonda, who had spent the rest of the day getting the cold shoulder from just about everybody, boarded the bus with Nadine and sat down... and then Lil' Pee-Wee came in and sat in a different seat, far away from Rhonda. She did feel guilty for saying what she did, but wasn't about to admit it to anyone. But this wasn't good for her social standing... she had to think of something, quick.

When the bus arrived at the Lloyd house, Rhonda and Lil' Pee-Wee got off. Before they headed in, Rhonda put her pointer finger to Lil' Pee-Wee's nose.

"Not a word. Got it?"  
>"Yeah, I got it alright," Lil' Pee-Wee said. They then put on fake smiles and walked through the front door, where Buckley and Brooke were waiting, dressed like they were going out.<p>

"You're back!" Buckley exclaimed eagerly. "How was your first day, Patri-uh, Lil' Pee-Wee!"  
>"It was great!" Lil' Pee-Wee lied. "Rhonda and I had the best time!"<br>"That we did!" Rhonda grinned. "That we did..."

"Well, that's wonderful," Brooke said. "I knew you two would love each other! Now, listen: Your father and I have to go out tonight, to a very special business party."  
>"Ooh, a party!" Rhonda exclaimed. "Can I come!"<br>"Sorry, dear," Buckley said. "We need you to stay and take care of Lil' Pee-Wee. We trust that you'll take good care of him."

"Um, yeah!" Rhonda said with fake enthusiasm, but inside she was boiling. "We're gonna have a really good time!"  
>"Good," Brooke said. "We'll be back around 1:00 AM. Make sure to tuck him in."<br>"Oh, I will!" Rhonda said. "Have fun!"  
>"We will, don't you worry," Buckley said. "But the most important thing is that YOU and Lil' Pee-Wee have fun!" And with that, he and Brooke left Rhonda and Lil' Pee-Wee alone.<p>

Rhonda crept up to the window, and watched as her parents drove off in their sports car. And as soon as they were well out of site, she sprung to the front door and opened it.

"I'm going over to Nadine's," she told Lil' Pee-Wee. "Whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF, or I will have you kicked out of here, even if it kills me!" And with a sarcastic "Ciao, doll!" she left... completely oblivious to the fact that Lil' Pee-Wee was creeping into her room with a malicious smile on his face...

As Rhonda walked to Nadine's, her emotions were raging. On one hand, she was sad, jealous, and angry that her life was changed so drastically, and with no time for her to prepare for it emotionally... but on the other hand, her conscious was eating at her.

"Was I... too hard on him?"

Rhonda arrived at Nadine's and knocked on the door, where Nadine greeted her.  
>"Oh, hi, Rhonda," she said. "What are you up to?"<br>"Just stopping by," Rhonda said. "I couldn't stand to spend another minute with that little shrimp, you see?"  
>"Yeah," Nadine said. "Come on in." Even Nadine was being a bit icy to Rhonda. Nadine got them both bottles of water, and they went up to her room.<p>

"So, what do you want to do?" Rhonda asked.  
>"I dunno," Nadine shrugged. As she went over to look at her pet tarantula, Rhonda looked down at the floor and sighed.<p>

"Nadine... do you think I was a bit too harsh to Pee-Wee?"  
>"Well, yes," Nadine said, matter-of-factly. "That was terrible what you said! Rhonda, you're my best friend... but I have to admit, being your best friend can be kind of hard."<br>"I know," Rhonda sighed, showing a rare flash of admitting to her mistakes. "That was way out of line for me to say that about his parents. As much as I hate to admit it, I'd better apologize to him."

Nadine turned around with a smile on her face. "Good, you're owing up to your mistakes! If only you did that more often..."  
>Rhonda chuckled. "Yes, I know. It's just that... I don't know. Let's watch TV or something."<p>

Rhonda came home and opened the door, and to her relief, her parents hadn't come back early. But Lil' Pee-Wee was on the couch, sound asleep.

"Oh no," Rhonda whispered to herself, "He must have cried himself to sleep!" She couldn't stand him, but the idea that she'd hurt somebody that badly, and made herself look like such a jerk, really got to her. She didn't want to wake him up, so she crept upstairs.

"I think I'll take a bath," Rhonda said. "Wash some of these bad feelings away." After grabbing some CDs out of her bedroom, Rhonda walked into her bathroom, closed the door, and started to run the water. Before undressing, she decided to put on some music.

"I'll listen to Material Girl," Rhonda said as she put in a Madonna CD, "That always makes me feel better." But then... what sounded like a hip-hop beat started to come out of her radio.

"Wha?"

And then, someone started rapping:

Now this may sound disgusting an' like very gross But it's sure to have your trippin'  
>So y'all listen close It's not bright as the sun or sweet like sugar But it's rather on the bug tip and it's called PICKIN' BOOGERS!<p>

Rhonda gasped and recoiled in horror as the song continued:

Now what I'm emceein' might not seem kosher to you But it's still somethin' we all have to do So go up your nose with a finger or two And pull out one or a crusty crew!  
>Yo, don't try to front like it's so gloomy and gray 'Cause we all pick our boogers, sometimes every day Whether out in the open or on a sneak tip With a finger, tissue, or even a Q-Tip<p>

"What in the name of..." Rhonda whispered, too shocked to do anything:

Take it from the Biz Markie, because I'm jokin'  
>And also, remember this slogan:<br>"Hey, ma, what's for dinner?  
>Go up your nose and pick yourself a winner"<br>PICKIN' BOOGERS!

"Aaaugh!" Rhonda groaned with disgust as she opened the radio's CD tray and pulled out the disc. It was labeled Madonna... but Rhonda noticed something was off about the label, so she picked at a corner, and it peeled off to reveal that the disc was actually Goin' Off by...

"Biz Markie? OOOH, that brat!" Rhonda tossed aside the disk and put another one in the radio. "Talking Heads," she said, "Please be Talking Heads!" But sure enough, another hip-hop beat started up, and a guy started rapping:

Don't call it a comeback! I been here for years!  
>Rockin' my peers and puttin' suckas in fear Makin' the tears rain down like a MON-soon Listen to the bass go BOOM!<br>Explosion, overpowerin'  
>Over the competition, I'm towerin'<br>Wreckin' shop, when I drop these lyrics that'll make you call the COPS!

But as this song played, Rhonda started bobbing her head. "Oh yeah," she said with a grin. "This stuff's bomb, yo. For real." But then, she realized what she was doing and slapped herself out of it.

"WHAT is that shrimp DOING to MEEE? HE'S MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" Rhonda took that CD out, and peeled back the label to reveal that it was really an LL Cool J album. Tossing that one aside, Rhonda then started going through her other CDs... only to find that they were all rap albums with misleading labels. Rhonda was feeling bad and apologetic towards Lil' Pee-Wee a few moments ago... but now, all those feelings were gone. As she looked at the bathtub full of water, Rhonda got an idea.

"Well, if he likes to mess with peoples' CDs, two can play at that game..."

As Lil' Pee-Wee slept, Rhonda went into his room and found every CD she could find with a Parental Advisory label on it, and hauled them into her bathroom. Then, she set them next to the full tub, and started to take the discs out of the cases.

"Parental Advisory, huh?" she said. "Explicit lyrics, violence, misogyny... how dirty! Especially for a little boy! I'd better clean them up!" And one by one, she dropped the discs in the water. "Oh, they're gonna be so clean!" After a few minutes, all of the discs were in the tub.

"Now, for some soap and shampoo!" Rhonda poured both body wash soap and citrus-center shampoo into the tub, rolled her sweater sleeve up, and stirred it with her arm. She let the discs "bathe" for a few moments.

"Okay, now... let's get every last spec of dirt off!" She turned on both the bubble machine and the jets, and before long, the bathtub was a soup of discs, bubbles, and shampoo. Rhonda smiled with sinister satisfaction.

"Alright, I think that's enough!" She took all of the discs out and dried them off with a towel, and drained the water from the tub. Ultimately, Rhonda put the dried-off discs back in their cases and put them back in his room, right where she left them. And she had good timing, too; Lil' Pee-Wee woke up and was heading upstairs.

"Why, hello there, Lil' Pee-Wee!" Rhonda said, smiling from ear to ear. "Did you have a nice nap?"

Lil' Pee-Wee smiled. "Why, yes I did! Thank you for askin...hey. Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?"  
>"Oh, I just sort of feel bad for that comment I made about your parents," Rhonda said. "No hard feelings?"<br>Lil' Pee-Wee shrugged. "I guess not...for now... okay, I'll be in my room, listening to some music. Maybe you should, too..."  
>"Maybe I should," Rhonda said, trying to not sound suspicious. "Enjoy yourself!"<p>

Lil' Pee-Wee shrugged before going into his room and closing the door... and Rhonda stood in the hall, waiting for his reaction, when...

"What's going on! None of my CDs work!"

Rhonda chuckled sinisterly and walked into his room. "What ever is the problem?"  
>"My CDs don't work!" Lil' Pee-Wee exclaimed. "I don't know what happened... wait." His eyes narrowed as he looked at Rhonda. "You did something with them... didn't you?"<p>

Rhonda just kept on smiling. "Well, I listened to my music - which you REALLY spiced up - so I decided that I should return the favor!"

People out on the streets heard the yelling, it was so loud. "RHOOOONNNNNDDAAAAAAA! YOU MONSTER!" Lil' Pee-Wee screamed in rage.  
>"Well, you should have thought of THAT before you replaced MY MADONNA CD with some garbage about eating BOOGERS!" Rhonda yelled back. "Who listens to that yuck, anyway?"<br>"I DID!" Lil' Pee-Wee retorted. "And you should have thought of THAT before you MADE FUN OF MY PARENTS!"  
>Rhonda stopped yelling for a moment, and sighed. "I know, that was uncalled for! I was gonna apologize, but then SOMEBODY had to ruin MY CDS!"<p>

"Well, you deserved it!" Lil' Pee-Wee screamed. "How DARE you diss my parents! You don't even know how they died! Well, guess what, Rhonda? THEY GOT SHOT!"

Suddenly, Rhonda's anger faded, and was replaced by shock. "...Really?"  
>"REALLY!" Lil' Pee-Wee yelled.<br>"Oh God," Rhonda stammered, "I-I had no idea! If I had known-"  
>"Well, too late now, ain't it?" Lil' Pee-Wee said angrily. "Tonight... you gonna DIE!"<p>

Lil' Pee-Wee jumped at Rhonda with a karate kick, but she ran out of the way - playing football with the other kids really improved her evasive instincts. So instead, Lil' Pee-Wee landed at the top of the stairs and fell down them.

"Patrick!" Rhonda screamed, and she ran down the stairs to his side. "Are you oka-"  
>But then, Lil' Pee-Wee suddenly jumped up and grabbed her in some sort of kung-fu grip.<p>

"How you likin' this, Frosty?" Lil' Pee-Wee laughed as Rhonda tried to break free. "Learned it from GI Jo- uh oh."

In the middle of their scuffle, Buckley and Brooke had come home, and were just standing at the door with shocked and horrified expressions.

"Uh... hi, Mommy!" Rhonda said, laughing nervously. "Hi, Daddy!"  
>"Yo!" Lil' Pee-Wee said, also laughing nervously. "We're just playing... so, how was your party?"<br>"Yeah... just playing!" Rhonda said. "Heehee..."

But Buckley and Brooke weren't fooled. "Young man... young lady... come into the living room." Buckley sternly ordered.

Full of dread, Rhonda and Lil' Pee-Wee got up off of the floor and followed their parents into the living room. 


	4. Busted

Chapter 4: Busted

"She picked on my mommy and daddy!"  
>"He humiliated me in front of everyone!"<br>"She said that she hates me!"  
>"He replaced my CDs with rap garbage!"<br>"She washed mine in the bathtub!"  
>"He tried to kill me!"<br>"She-"

"Alright, alright!" Buckley interrupted as he and Brooke sat with Rhonda and Lil' Pee-Wee in the living room. "We've heard enough! And we're very disappointed in you both. Very disappointed indeed!"

"But Daddy!" Rhonda whined, "He's ruining my life! He's bratty, he's mean to me, he's rude, he-"  
>"Rhonda, is this true?" Brooke asked, and Rhonda nodded.<br>"Well... you know better than to do what you did." And then Brooke turned to Lil' Pee-Wee and glared at him. "But Patrick-"  
>"Lil' Pee-Wee!"<br>"PATRICK," Brooke insisted, "If you cannot behave any better than that, we'll have no choice but to send you back to the orphanage."

"WHAT?" Lil' Pee-Wee said, eyes widening with horror. "You can't send me back there!"  
>"Well, we will if you don't keep your nose clean," Buckley stated.<br>Lil' Pee-Wee scowled. "Fine! I hate this family anyway! My sister's a stuck-up bitch, an-"

"THAT'S IT!" Buckley shouted. "Patrick, you are going back to the orphanage."  
>"Bu-"<br>"No buts!" Buckley said sternly. "Start packing right now. We're taking you back first thing tomorrow morning."

With that, Lil' Pee-Wee stormed upstairs into his room and and slammed the door, leaving Rhonda sitting with her parents.  
>"Rhonda... we're sorry," Brooke said. "We just thought that you needed to learn responsibility, but we could have handled it a lot better."<br>"You can say that again," Rhonda said. "You could have just got me a goldfish or something."  
>Buckley chuckled. "Well, you know us Lloyds. We spare no expense! But you're still going to have chores."<br>"Oh, I'll do every chore in the house!" Rhonda said. "Just... please, no more obnoxious, bratty, mean little brothers!"  
>Buckley and Brooke laughed. "Okay. Now go to bed."<br>"Will do," Rhonda said happily. "Goodnight, Mommy. Goodnight, Daddy." She blew them a kiss as she ran upstairs to her room, closed the door... and started jumping up and down out of sheer joy.

"No more Pee-Wee! No more Pee-Wee! No more Pee-Wee No more Pee-Wee!"

But then, she heard soft, devastated-sounding sobs coming from Lil' Pee-Wee's room and stopped to listen. "Oh brother, is he playing the victim again?" But as she listened to him cry, Rhonda started to feel a bit guilty. Sure, he had been a menace to her... but she didn't exactly welcome him into her life with open arms. And if what he said about his parents was true... she at least owed him an apology. Even if he did call her a bitch.

Rhonda sighed, walked out of her room, and knocked on his door.

"Um... it's me, Rhonda. Can I come in for a second?"  
>"NO!" Lil' Pee-Wee yelled. "Go away!"<br>"I'm trying to apologize, you little twer-" Rhonda stopped herself. "I mean, I'm trying to apologize! So can I come in?"  
>"...Make it quick," Lil' Pee-Wee snapped. Rhonda opened his door and walked in, to find that he'd already stripped the room of his possessions and packed them up. He was sitting on his bed, tears rolling down his cheeks - he looked genuinely upset. Rhonda came and sat down next to him.<p>

"Listen, I'm sorry I treated you badly. And made fun of your parents. That was way out of line."  
>Lil' Pee-Wee looked at her, and wiped his tears. "Apology accepted, I guess. Not that it matters."<br>"Well, you brought this upon yourself!" Rhonda said. "To be perfectly honest, you have been a real brat to me ever since you got here."  
>"Well, you weren't exactly nice to me, either!" Lil' Pee-Wee retorted. "You treated me like crap!"<br>"Yeah, but not as badly as you did me," Rhonda argued. "It was hard enough that my life was changing so drastically, but you didn't exactly help matters any. I've been an only child, not having to do much of anything besides go to school, and given all the attention. But then not only do I have to do chores that I've never done before in my life, but you show me absolutely no respect! Try thinking about how I felt before you turn me into a monster."

Lil' Pee-Wee's sad, angry expression softened a bit as he thought about it. "You're... you're right. I never thought about it like that. But why don't you think about how I felt? I grew up in a crappy neighborhood, my daddy was in a gang, my mommy ate too much "candy", and then they got shot dead right in front of me. I spend ages in that stupid, nasty orphanage, with all the other kids picking on me for how I look, and then I finally get adopted, but my new sis gives me the cold shoulder! If that happened to you, I bet you'd be a little ticked off too."

Rhonda nodded. "Yeah... but God. I knew you had a bad life, but I had no idea just how bad it was for you."  
>Lil' Pee-Wee sighed. "And now I'm going back there tomorrow, and-"<br>"Wait," Rhonda interrupted - she couldn't believe what she was about to do... but she felt like she had to. "Let me talk to Mommy and Daddy. I'll see if I can get them to let you stay."  
>Lil' Pee-Wee got a huge smile on his face. "Really? You'd do that?"<br>"Yeah," Rhonda nodded. "I'm not sure if I should, but... yes."  
>"Thank you!"<br>"Don't thank me yet," Rhonda said. "I'll be right back." She got up and headed downstairs, where Buckley and Brooke were still up and watching TV.

"Are you joking?" Buckley exclaimed. "He called you a bitch! Nobody calls my Rhonda a bitch and gets away with it!"  
>"I know," Rhonda said, "But I think he really feels bad about what he's done and is willing to change. Besides, well... I could have acted better, too."<p>

Buckley and Brooke looked at each other, and nodded. "Alright... we'll give him just one more chance."

Rhonda came back to Lil' Pee-Wee's room, smiling. "I have good news! They're gonna give you one more chance."  
>Lil' Pee-Wee got the biggest grin on his face and started jumping up and down on the bed before running up to Rhonda and grabbing her in a hug, taking her by surprise. "Thank you Rhonda, thank you thank you thank you!"<br>"Don't make me regret it," Rhonda said. "And even if I... well, kind of deserved it... if you call me a bitch one more time...  
>"Don't worry, I won't!" Lil' Pee-Wee smiled. "Thank you so much!" Rhonda couldn't help but smile at how happy he was as he was hugging her.<br>"Okay, you're welcome, you little shrimp," Rhonda said with a grin. "Um... you can let go, now."  
>"Oh, sorry," Lil' Pee-Wee said as he stopped hugging her.<p>

...  
>The next day...<br>...

Rhonda woke up, put her contacts in, and went through her usual morning routine before putting on some clothes and going into the hall. Lil' Pee-Wee's door was still closed, so she figured he was still asleep. She went downstairs and found Buckley and Brooke sitting at the dining room table.

"Good morning sunshine," Buckley said. "Your mother and I are going to be gone for most of the day - very important business to attend to. But can we trust you and Patrick together, after... last night?"

"Yeah," Rhonda said. "Don't worry, you can trust us."  
>"Well, we'd better not come home to another wrestling match!" Brooke said.<br>"Don't worry, Mommy! We'll be fine."

Lil' Pee-Wee woke up, and sighed heavily - he was going back to the orphanage today.  
>But then he remembered that he wasn't, that Rhonda saved his butt, and sighed with relief. Sure, she was stuck-up and selfish... but maybe his new sister wasn't so bad.<p>

After putting on some clothes and brushing his teeth, Lil' Pee-Wee went downstairs, and to his complete shock, he found Rhonda in the kitchen, wearing an apron and standing at the toaster.  
>"Rhonda? You're actually doing something for yourself?" he asked.<br>"Well, partially," Rhonda said as she turned around. "I'm making us waffles."  
>"You're making me breakfast?"<br>"Yeah, why not?" Rhonda asked. "You have a problem with that?"  
>"No, not at all!" Lil' Pee-Wee said.<p>

Just then, the done waffles popped up, and Rhonda put them on two plates and covered them with syrup and some butter. She gave Lil' Pee-Wee his plate and sat at the table with him. He took a bite...  
>"MMM! These are delicious!"<br>"They sure are," Rhonda said with a grin. "I've loved these since I was like 5 years old. Anyway, Mommy and Daddy are going to be gone for most of the day. I was wondering if you wanted to go out."  
>"Out?" Lil' Pee-Wee asked. "Out where?"<br>"Just around town," Rhonda shrugged. "See what trouble we can get into."  
>"Alright," Lil' Pee-Wee said."<p>

After breakfast, Rhonda and Lil' Pee-Wee stepped out of the front door and onto the sidewalk. It was a fairly nice Fall day - cool, but not too cold.  
>"So where to, Patri- uh, Lil' Pee-Wee?" Rhonda asked.<br>"Hm... wanna go to the park?" Lil' Pee-Wee suggested.  
>"Fine with me," Rhonda said.<br>"And hey... just call me Patrick," Patrick said.  
>"Huh? What happened to "That ain't my name", hmm?" Rhonda said with a smirk.<br>"I dunno, it was stupid. Just call me Patrick."  
>Rhonda shrugged. "Okay then, Patrick."<p>

Rhonda and Patrick walked down the street to the park, which wasn't that far away. But suddenly...  
>"Wait!" Rhonda said, stopping. "Do you hear.. singing?"<br>Patrick listened, and sure enough, somebody was singing down in an alleyway that Rhonda and Patrick had passed.

"You take the high road, and *HIC* I'll take the low road! Haha...*HIC*"

"That voice sounds familiar!" Rhonda said. She and Patrick crept to the edge of the alley and poked their heads around the corner... to see Alphonse Perrier du von Scheck, looking scruffy and ratty, sitting against the wall while holding what looked like a smoothy in his hand.

"I'll take the low road, and... *HIC* Who am I kiddin'! First I get arreshted, then my company goesh belly-up, and THEN I loshe cable and can't watch Baywatch anymore! My life couldn't posshibly get any worshe!"

"Oh my god!" Rhonda whispered. "It's that creep who tried to tear down the neighborhood! And boy, has he seen better days..."  
>"You ain't kiddin'!" Patrick said. "My daddy said he was a money grubbin' sack of-"<br>"Shh!" Rhonda said, putting her pointer finger to her lips. "Look!" In the alleyway, two men in tracksuits approached Scheck. One of them had a goatee, and the other had a five-o-clock shadow.  
>"Why hello there, Meeester Scheck," the one with the goatee said in an Eastern European accent, "Our comrade Oskar Kokoshka has told us all about you! How you tried to forcefully evict him from his boarding house!"<br>"Indeed I did!" Scheck said. "Thish whole *HIC* shorry dump of a town wash going to be a malll! And I would have gotten away with it too, if it washn't for thoshe meddling kidsh!"  
>"Enough, Shecky boy," the one with the five-o-clock shadow said. "The point is, you inconvenienced our comrade a great deal, and we're here to... teach you a lesson."<br>"Yes," the one with the goatee said. "Come, Niko - let's get him to the van."  
>"I hear you, Reznov!" Niko said.<p>

As he and Reznov picked up Scheck and started to haul him down the alleyway, away from the watching Rhonda and Patrick, Scheck ranted and raved.  
>"Unhand me, you yokelsh! I'll shue you! I'll drive you into the ground!"<br>Reznov laughed. "Oh, shut up. We're just taking you for ice cream.."  
>"Yeah," Niko laughed ominously, "Ice cream!"<p>

As the two men hauled Scheck away, Rhonda and Patrick stood there. Rhonda looked like she'd just seen a ghost, and Patrick was pretty shocked himself. "Uh... I don't think they're taking him out for ice cream..."  
>"I... don't think so either," Rhonda stammered. "Let's just... get out of here. M'kay?"<p>

Rhonda and Patrick wasted no time heading away from the alley and down the street.

Soon, they arrived at the city park, where various people were either hanging out, playing sports, or just taking a walk. Rhonda looked around and spied a football.

"Hey Patrick, are you up for some football?" she asked as she went to pick up the ball. Patrick almost did a double take.  
>"Yea... WHAT? You... play football?"<br>"I sure do!" Rhonda said with a satisfied grin, tossing the ball up and down in the air. "One time, I played with some friends against a bunch of fifth graders, and I scored three touchdowns! And out of the 48 points we scored, I accounted for 18 of 'em!"  
>"Get outta town!" Patrick laughed. "Weren't you worried about breaking a nail?"<br>"Oh, shut up," Rhonda chuckled. "Let me show you what I can do. Sure, it'll be kind of weird with just two players... but hey."  
>"You're on!" Patrick boasted.<p>

Rhonda and Patrick sat at a bench, both of them hot, sweaty and dirty.  
>"Dang, Rhonda!" Patrick laughed, "You weren't kiddin' around!"<br>"What did I tell you?" Rhonda smirked. "I kicked your butt into next week. But... you weren't so bad yourself."  
>"Thanks," Patrick said. "I played with my dad all the time. You know what, Rhonda?"<br>"What?"  
>"You might be cooler than I thought."<br>Rhonda smiled. "Well, thanks. If this keeps up, maybe we won't kill each other after al- hey. I hear the Jolly-Olly Man!" Sure enough, the sound of an ice cream truck filled the air, and the Jolly-Olly truck rolled by the park and stopped. The Jolly-Olly Man was his usual grumpy self, rolling up the window on the side of the truck and frowning as a bunch of kids approached.

"Come on, let's get some ice cream," Rhonda said. "My treat."  
>"Cool!" Patrick said. He and Rhonda walked up to the truck... but as soon as the Jolly-Olly Man saw Patrick, he started acting panicked and put on a big, phony smile.<br>"Why hello there, you two!" he said, "What can I get you? Hahaha..."  
>"I'll have chocolate chip," Rhonda said, confused - why was the Jolly-Olly Man acting like this?"<br>"And I'll have Oreo... Mr. Noodles," Patrick smirked.  
>"Hehe, right away, right away!" The Jolly-Olly Man then scrambled to make the ice cream cones and gave them to Rhonda and Patrick.<br>"There you go! There! Take them for free!"  
>"Wow... thanks," Rhonda said.<p>

As she and Patrick walked away (and the other kids started demanding free ice cream, too), Rhonda asked "What on Earth was that about?"  
>Patrick grinned. "Leeet's just say that the Jolly-Olly man and I have a... history."<br>"Well, it got us free ice cream, so good job, whatever it is you did," Rhonda said.  
>"Thanks," Patrick laughed.<p>

As Rhonda and Patrick sat at a bench and had their ice cream, their minds were in a rush.

"I can't believe it, but I'm actually getting attached to her," Patrick thought.  
>"I can't believe it, but I'm actually getting attached to that little shrimp," Rhonda thought. <p>


	5. Patrick's Story

Chapter 5: Patrick's Story

After they finished their ice cream, Patrick insisted on taking Rhonda to the arcade. They started to play a light-gun shooting game... but Patrick was doing considerably better.

"Come on Rhonda! Shoot!" Patrick said as mercenaries shot at the screen.  
>"I am!" Rhonda said, "But I'm not hitting anything!"<br>"You gotta use the crosshairs! They tell you what you're hitting!"  
>"Where's the crosshairs!"<br>"That thing that looks like a bullseye on the screen!" Patrick said, pointing it out for her. But as soon as she started aiming correctly, they got "killed".

"Aw man, you suck!" Patrick said teasingly, but in a nice way.  
>"Sorry, Patrick," Rhonda said. "Guess I'm just not a geek."<br>"Hey, cool people play games, too-" But then he caught on. "What are you getting at?"  
>"That geeks are gifted with that sort of thing?" Rhonda shrugged. "Cool people excel at some things, and geeks excel at others! It's just how things work."<br>"You sayin' I'm a geek?" Patrick asked.  
>"No," Rhonda said, but a little smirk came to her lips. "Well, maybe just a little."<br>"Oh, you're just mean!" Patrick said with a teasing grin. "What do cool people excel at, huh? Being snobbish and stuck up?"  
>Rhonda scoffed. "I am not snobbish and stuck up! If I was, I'd be constantly bragging about my clothes, and how much better cool people are than geeks, and... Oh," she caught herself. "I'll just shut up. But hey, did you know that I was a geek once?"<p>

"Really?"  
>"Yeah," Rhonda said. "I needed glasses, and had to wear these big ugly things all the time. I wasn't in the cool crowd anymore, and I absolutely hated it! But I eventually ended up rising in power with the geeks, and eventually refused to sit in the back of the bus just because I was a geek!"<p>

"Cool!" Patrick said with admiration. "But what happened to your glasses?"  
>"Contacts," Rhonda grinned as she reached into her eye and pulled one out. "As soon as I got old enough, those glasses were outta here."<br>"Don't they kinda... bug you?"  
>"Not really," Rhonda shrugged. "It's a real pain if you lose one, though..." She put it back in her eye to keep such an event from happening. "So, what do you want to do now?"<br>"Let's go home," Patrick said. "I'm tired."

Rhonda and Patrick were on their way home, when suddenly...

"Rhonda! Hide!" Patrick hissed as he grabbed Rhonda's arm and dragged her into an alleyway.  
>"Hey, what's the deal?"<br>"Just take a look around the corner," Patrick said. He and Rhonda peeked around the corner, and Patrick pointed to a huge, obese African-American man in a black pinstripe suit and fedora, accompanied by about five other men in suits.  
>"See that big fat guy?" Patrick asked.<br>"How could I miss him?" Rhonda said. "But what about him? He's a fat man in a very nice suit. Unless, of course, he's a gangster or something," she added with a smirk.

"That's exactly what he is, Rhonda," Patrick said, completely straight-faced. "That's Caine, the biggest and baddest cat in town. He runs gambling, extortion rings, a couple other things I'm not even gonna mention..."  
>Rhonda's smirk faded. "Seriously? What have you got to do with that lowlife? I know your dad was in a gang, but..."<br>"Listen, I'll tell you later," Patrick said. "But we've gotta get outta here! C'mon, let's go down this alley - it'll take us home."  
>And with that, Rhonda and Patrick hastily went down the alley. Rhonda couldn't help but be disgusted by the garbage, rats, and grime of the alley, but if Caine was anything like Patrick said he was, she wanted to get as far away from him as possible.<p>

Rhonda and Patrick got home and walked through the front door to find that Buckley and Brooke were there.  
>"There you two are!" Brooke said. "Did you have fun?"<br>"Yes, Mommy," Rhonda smiled, "We had a lot of fun."  
>"We sure did!" Patrick said, excitedly. "We went to the park, and Rhonda played football with me, and then we got ice cream, and she told me this funny story about how she ended up stuck being this weird Curly guy's girlfriend, and..."<p>

As Patrick went on about his day with Rhonda, Buckley and Brooke smiled with satisfaction at the fact that their daughter and new son were getting along so well.

That night, Rhonda had just gotten into her evening gown when Patrick came into her room.

"Hey, Rhonda?"  
>"Yeah?"<br>"I just wanted to tell you that I had a lot of fun today!" Patrick said. "You are cooler than I thought you were!"  
>"Well, thanks," Rhonda said. "I had fun, too! Are you going to bed?"<br>"Yeah," Patrick said. "Goodnight, Rhonda."  
>"Goodnight, Patrick."<p>

Patrick left the room, and Rhonda closed the door and got in her bed. "Maybe having a little brother... isn't so bad after all." She clapped the lights off, and went to sleep...

... and woke up to the sound of knocking on her door. Yawning, she looked over at her digital clock - 1:02 AM.

"What in the..." Wondering what could possibly be so important at this hour, Rhonda clapped the lights on and opened the door, to find Patrick standing there.

"Uh, hi Rhonda," he said sheepishly, "I didn't wake you up, did I?"  
>"You think?" Rhonda asked. "What's the matter?"<br>"Listen, um... do you mind if I sleep with you tonight? I had a nightmare and I can't get back to sleep."  
>"Really?" Rhonda asked, surprised. "Why don't you sleep with Mommy and Daddy?"<br>"Because they were gonna throw me out!" Patrick said. "I don't trust 'em that much, but you saved my butt. I do trust you. Please?"  
>Rhonda sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Climb aboard."<br>"Thank you!"

Rhonda got in bed, and Patrick followed. "Now, first things first: No tossing, no turning, no drooling on my Italian silk sheets... got it?"  
>"Yeah, I got it," Patrick said as he crawled under the covers next to her. "Thanks for doing this."<br>"Oh, it's nothing," Rhonda said. "That must have been a pretty bad nightmare."  
>Patrick sighed. "You better believe it. It was about Mommy and Daddy... my old Mommy and Daddy."<br>"Oh no," Rhonda said - he didn't say it outright, but she could tell by his tone that it was about their deaths. "Hey, Patrick... it's okay if you don't want to tell me, but what happened?"

Patrick took a deep breath. "Okay, you've earned my trust. I'm gonna tell you. But I warn you... it ain't pretty."

Rhonda sat up in bed and listened as Patrick told his story.

"It was 1999... Winter, in fact. My daddy Patrick was in a gang, and his best friend was this big fat guy named Caine. They ran the gang together, and were tighter than tight. Until one day, where they got in an argument... Caine wanted to start dealing "candy", but Daddy didn't. Caine just walked away, and I swear Daddy was cryin', but he didn't let me see any tears.

Then, next year, in the spring, Daddy left the gang so he could get away from all that crap. He bought him, me and my Mommy Opal a nice apartment up closer to downtown, but for some reason, we all had to change our names. My Daddy changed to Steve, my Mommy changed to Crystal, and I changed from Pee-Wee to Patrick. It was pretty much a new life for us. I hated my new name, but hey, we had a new and better life."

"So that explains why you insisted upon being called that," Rhonda said. "Go on."

"But then... one day, I saw that the Playstation 2 was out, but we didn't have enough money to get it. And I really wanted it, right then. So... I heard about this loan shark named C-Notes, and I figured I could eventually pay him back by saving my allowances. I didn't tell a soul, but I went and met him, and it turned out that C-Notes was Caine, with a nickname. But I went through with the deal, and I got the PS2 that day. I didn't tell anybody, but I got it." Rhonda couldn't help but notice that as Patrick talked, his voice was getting shakier and shakier.

"So I played my PS2 on the sly, and saved up money until I had enough to pay back Caine. And it took me so long that he was starting to lose patience. He kept meeting with me when I didn't have my parents around and giving these subtle little warnings. But when I finally did have enough... we found out that Mommy was pregnant with a little girl. But we weren't gonna have enough room to put her. We had to get a bigger place, and Mommy and Daddy didn't have enough... so I helped out with what I'd saved up. I figured that Caine would understand!

But a couple days later, we had found that bigger place. It was a nice penthouse by the lake. We were there and had all our stuff, and were getting ready to move in... but then a red car came rolling by, and..." Patrick started sniffling.

"And... the men in the back rolled down their windows, and stuck out guns, and started shoo..." Patrick couldn't finish that sentence, and tried to fight back tears. "I was the only one who survived. Daddy died, Mommy died, and my little sister..." He then burst into tears. Rhonda, who was close to crying herself, clapped the lights on and saw Patrick lying curled up on the bed, his hands to his face.

"Come here," Rhonda said, and she picked him up and hugged him. "I'm so sorry..."  
>"It was all my fault!" Patrick sobbed on Rhonda's shoulder as he hugged her back. "I killed them! I did it!"<br>"Shhhh," Rhonda whispered gently, "It's all right. You didn't kill anybody."  
>"Yes I did!" Patrick bawled, "If I had just waited a little longer to buy that stupid Playstation, they'd still be alive! I killed them!"<br>"No, you didn't!" Rhonda insisted. "You did not kill them! You just made a stupid decision! Kids do that all the time!"  
>"Yeah, but their stupid decisions usually don't end up with their families getting shot up!" Patrick cried.<br>"That's true," Rhonda admitted, "But you're being way too hard on yourself. You had no idea what was going to happen. It's okay to be sad, but you can't keep beating yourself up like you are!"  
>Patrick stopped and wiped his eyes. "I.. guess you're right," he said shakily. "But now, Caine's after me because I didn't pay, and my family's... gone."<br>Rhonda pulled away from Patrick to look him in the eyes, and gave him a warm smile. "I know... but you have a new family now, and we'll do everything we can to protect you. We won't be able to replace your old family, but... well, we'll have to try, won't we?" She then gave him a kiss on the forehead.

Patrick wiped his eyes, and gave her a weak smile. "Yeah... thanks. You know, Rhonda? You're... alright. Heck, if it wasn't so mushy, I'd say that I love you."

He paused.

"Oh, what the heck? I love you, Rhonda."  
>"For a while, I never thought I'd say this - but I love you too, Patrick," Rhonda replied. "If you ever need me for anything - anything at all - I'll be right there. And if that Caine animal tries to hurt you, I'll smack him. Did you know that I slapped that Curly guy so hard that I broke his glasses to little tiny pieces?"<p>

Patrick gave a weak chuckle. "Really? You hit him that hard!"  
>"You'd better believe it," Rhonda said. "And deep down, I actually kind of think the little rat's okay. If I ever smacked somebody I really hated, I can't imagine how hard it would be!"<p>

They both laughed.

"Now try to go to sleep," Rhonda said. "You've had a rough night."  
>"Will do," Patrick said. "Goodnight, Rhonda."<br>"'Night, Patrick."

And the two former arch-enemies went to sleep. In the middle of the night, Rhonda woke up to find that Patrick was clinging on to her like she was his security blanket, but she didn't mind at all. 


	6. The Chase

Chapter 6: The Chase

As Rhonda and Patrick got on the bus, they heard Gerald talking to everyone.  
>"Hey, did you hear what happened?" Gerald asked in the bus, "Remember that Scheck guy? Well... let's just say that they found him swimming with the fishes."<br>"Yeah, I heard something like that," Sid said. "Wonder what happened?"  
>"I dunno," Gerald said. "But the cops said that his throat was... well..." he then did a slashing motion across his throat. "Yeah."<br>"But I heard that he went fishing and fell in!" Eugene differed.  
>"I heard that he saw himself in the mirror!" Helga snarked.<br>"I heard that he ate two whole buckets of KFC chicken!" Harold offered. "What a wimp. I can eat 5!"

"I don't know," Rhonda said, "But Patrick and I saw two Russian guys drag him down an alleyway to a van! Apparently they were friends with that weird tightwad from that filthy boarding house."  
>Everyone's attention went to Rhonda. "Really?" Gerald asked.<br>"Yep," Rhonda said. "I'm glad we got out of there before those guys saw us!"  
>"Yeah," Gerald said. "That must have been kinda scary."<br>"Oh, I wasn't scared," Rhonda said as she sat down. But Patrick laughed as he sat next to her.  
>"Oh yeah! You looked like you'd seen a ghost!" Patrick said.<p>

But then, Helga butted in. "Hey, what's the deal with you two? I thought you two hated each other."  
>"Well... we had some, you could say, bonding experience this past weekend," Rhonda grinned.<br>"Yeah!" Patrick said. "It kinda started out rough, but... well, Rhonda's cool."  
>"Color me shocked," Helga said.<p>

In the cafeteria, Rhonda and Patrick got their food - which was the same - and headed to their table. But Patrick accidentally tripped, and dropped his tray.  
>"HAAAHAAA!" Harold jeered, "PAT-RICK TRIII-IIIPED!"<br>Rhonda shot Harold a dirty look, set her food on an empty table and helped Patrick up. "Are you alright?"  
>"Yeah."<br>"Don't listen to Harold over there," Rhonda said. "He's an okay guy under that dumb bullying exterior. Here, you can have mine." She motioned to her tray.  
>"Seriously?" Patrick asked.<br>"Seriously. I'll just go get another one." Rhonda said.  
>"Thanks, Rhon!" Patrick beamed as he sat down.<br>Rhonda's brow furrowed. "Rhon?" she thought, before shrugging and going back in the lunch line. Meanwhile, over at another table, Sid, Stinky and Gerald saw the whole thing.

"Well, would ya look at that," Stinky drawled, "Rhawnda does have a heart after all!"  
>"I knew this would be good for her," Sid said. "It's about time she learned to look after somebody other than herself."<br>"I know," Gerald said. "Let's just hope it lasts this time... remember when she got glasses and ended up pulling a Rosa Parks on the bus and standing up for geeks? Well, you saw how long THAT peace lasted!"

Later, on the playground, Rhonda was surrounded by a small crowd.

"...sterday, I went to Flaire's and got this brand-new red Liz Claiborne sweater! Isn't it... select?"  
>"Um, it's ever so nice, Rhonda" Lila said. "But, to be honest, you wear red sweaters all the time! Have you ever thought about getting a purple one, or a green one?"<br>Rhonda scoffed. "Red and black are just my colors! Yours are green and blue, Helga's are white and pink, Chocolate Boy's is, er, brown... mine is red and black. As a matter of fact, this one time, on an exclusive vacation in Aspen, I-" But she just happened to glance to her left, and see Patrick swinging on the swingset by himself.

"Um... I have to go," Rhonda said. She walked over to the swings and sat in the one next to Patrick's. "Mind if I join you?"  
>"Oh, not at all!" Patrick said with a smile.<br>"You looked pretty lonely," Rhonda said. "Why haven't you made any friends?"  
>"I dunno," Patrick said, "I guess I just have... trust issues."<br>"I know," Rhonda said.  
>They swung for a few more moments, when...<br>"Rhon, do you mind if we go somewhere after school?" Patrick asked. "I wanna show you something."  
>Rhonda thought about it for a few seconds, and shrugged. "Sure, I don't see why not."<br>"Cool!"

...  
>Meanwhile, across the street...<br>...

"Yo Big Poppa!" A man yelled as he looked down on the playground with binoculars, "I think I found Pee-Wee!"  
>The tall, obese man in a pinstripe suit named Caine, AKA Big Poppa, sauntered over and looked through the binoculars. "Hey hey hey!" he said in a deep, thick, guttural-sounding voice, "That's him! That lil' swindler gon' get it!"<br>"Well, what are we waitin' for?" another man said, this one wearing a big pink stocking cap. "Let's bounce 'im!"  
>Big Poppa groaned. "Donald, you can be so dumb! We can't just run in to a school playground blastin' an' cappin' lil' kids an' all that! We gotta do it ninja style! We wait for him to leave, an' follow him home, THEN bust a move!"<br>"Good plan, dude," the man with the binoculars said. "He looks like he's really close to this one girl with black hair in a red shirt. You think he's datin'?"  
>"I dunno, but today, revenge will be mine!" Big Poppa declared. "Hey hey HEY!"<p>

After school, Rhonda and Patrick headed out the front doors of P.S. 118. But as everyone else got on the bus, Rhonda followed Patrick to the left and down the sidewalk. But suddenly...

"A-HA!" Curly screamed as he jumped in front of them from around a corner. "Rhonda, I've been watching you... you couldn't stand this short little squirt at first, but NOW you're getting along! That can only mean that you're lonely... and in need of a REAL man in your life!"  
>"Curly, I don't know how many times I need to tell you," Rhonda frowned. "If a nuclear bomb went off and annihilated everyone on Earth except for you and me, and the radiation had blinded me, and I was lonely and desperate... you'd STILL be the last person I'd ever date!"<br>"Oh, come on, sugar!" Curly said, unphased. "You know you love me, baby!"  
>At this moment, Patrick butted in. "So, you're Curly? Rhonda's told me all about you."<p>

Curly's face lit up. "Really! Did she tell you how sexy I was, and how my glasses just add to my masculine appeal, and how she really DOES like it when I sniff her hair?"  
>"Well, not quite," Patrick said. "She mainly told me about the time she slapped you so hard that it broke your glasses."<p>

"But that was out of affection!" Curly said. "It hurt, but it was the GOOD kind of pain! Now come on, Rhonda!" He suddenly shoved Patrick out of the way and grabbed Rhonda. "Give Daddy some sug-"

But suddenly, Patrick grabbed Curly and shoved him against the wall. "Alright, that's it! I'm gonna kick your butt for disrespectin' my sister!" He raised his fist up and was about to punch Curly right in the nose... but Rhonda pulled him away.

"Unh unh unh unh unh," she repeated. "Allow me." And with that, she smacked Curly so hard that it not only broke his glasses - again- but knocked out some of his teeth.

"There," Rhonda said with satisfaction as she dusted her hands off and stood over the knocked-out-cold Curly, "Problem solved."

As they walked away, Rhonda put her hand on Patrick's shoulder. "Thank you for standing up for me like that. True, I can handle it myself... but thanks."  
>"Oh, no problem." Patrick shrugged. "Okay, this place shouldn't be far."<br>"What is it, anyway?" Rhonda asked. "If it's another arcade, I'm turning around right now."  
>"No it ain't," Patrick said. "You'll see..."<br>But as Rhonda and Patrick walked down the street, they didn't notice that a red car was following them...

"Okay, this is it!" Patrick said as they stopped in front of a tall, abandoned apartment building.

"...This... is it?" Rhonda asked. "What a dump!"  
>"This is my old house!" Patrick said. "But I snuck out of the orphanage and came here to play all the time. It's even cooler abandoned! Come on, I'll show you my old headquarters."<br>Rhonda got a face at the idea of going into the derelict building. "Er... okay..."  
>"Oh, don't be such a primadonna, Rhon!" Patrick grinned. "It'll be fun!"<p>

He grabbed her arm and took her in through the front lobby, which used to be nice. Now, it was dark, grimy, and falling apart, with cracks in the wall and holes in the ceiling.  
>"Isn't it awesome!" Patrick exclaimed. "Especially at night. It is so spooky!"<br>"Uh, sure," Rhonda said. "I'm just glad I've had my tetanus shot..."  
>"Well, let's go!" Patrick urged. "Follow me!"<p>

Rhonda then followed Patrick into the staircase room, and up the tall staircase section. Every single step creaked and groaned under their weight, and Rhonda was sure she was going to fall through at any minute, but they eventually reached the top. Patrick then led her to an apartment at the far end of a dark, spooky hall.

"Okay, this is it!" Patrick said as they entered the room. It was basically just a dilapidated apartment.

"Thing is, I took all my stuff out of here when I moved in with you," Patrick explained. "But back in the day, I had comic books, posters, board games, the whole nine yards."  
>"Er, cool," Rhonda said. "Say... can we go now? I feel like I should be wearing a haz-mat suit, no offense."<br>"But wait!" Patrick said. "You've got to see the view! We just gotta go up on the roof, an-"

But suddenly, they heard footsteps echoing up the staircase and down the hall. Patrick looked out the window... and there was a red car.

THE red car.

"Oh, CRAP!" Patrick exclaimed as he ran over and closed the door. "They found me!"  
>"Who?" Rhonda asked, dreading the answer. "Is it Caine?"<br>"Yeah, it's Caine!" Patrick said. "But just wait..." He then reached into an old dresser... and pulled out a paintball gun loaded with red paintballs.

"I knew this would come in handy here!" Patrick said. "Wait till they get a load of THIS!"  
>"Patrick, forget it!" Rhonda yelled, panicked. "They've probably got guns. You've just got a toy. We gotta get out of here!"<br>"And we will!" Patrick said. "But hey, you ever been shot in the face with a paintball! It hurts like hell! Rhonda, go over to the old stove. There's a hatch above it!"

As Rhonda ran over to the stove, Patrick stood in front of the door, aiming his paintball gun. As soon as he heard the footsteps stop in front of the door, and saw the door start to open...

"You wanna play rough? Okay!" Patrick taunted, grinning.

The door opened up, and there were two gangsters.

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

Patrick opened fire and nailed the two gangsters in the face. As they fell to the ground and groaned in pain, Patrick ran over to Rhonda, who was still looking for the hatch. He aimed his paintball gun up at a light fixture up there, and Rhonda pulled it - sure enough, a hatch with small steps on it pulled down.

"Now let's boogie!" Patrick yelled. Rhonda went up first, followed by Patrick, and they pulled the hatch back closed. Rhonda looked around - they were up on the tall building's roof, and could see the buildings of Hillwood City all around them, and the sun was starting to set, painting the sky an orange/yellow color.

"Nice view, huh?" Patrick asked.  
>"Yeah, great!" Rhonda yelled. "But... HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE?"<br>"Don't worry Rhon, I got it covered," Patrick said. "I've made a whole secret passage for fun that will take us to the street!"  
>"Where is it?"<br>"Relax!" Patrick said. "We'll get there!"  
>"ARE YOU JOKING?" Rhonda screamed, "WE'RE BEING CHASED BY A BUNCH OF THUGS, AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO 'RELAX'?"<br>"Yeah, you gotta keep cool, like a Shaolin monk!" Patrick said. "First, see that building over there?" They ran to the edge and he pointed to an adjacent building that happened to have an add-on with a hole in its ceiling.  
>"Yeah," Rhonda said, "What about it?"<p>

"We gotta jump over there."  
>Rhonda looked at the building, then back at Patrick. "You have GOTTA be KIDDING me!"<br>"It's nothing!" Patrick said. "I've done it a hundred times! Just get a running start, and JUMP! You'll land in that little add-on thingie. See, I'll go first."

Patrick ran back, and then ran to the edge of the roof and took a flying leap across to the other building. He landed in the add-on, and popped out and waved at Rhonda.

Rhonda looked down at the street, and gulped. It would be a loooong way down if she missed.  
>"JUST DO IT!" Patrick yelled. "I'LL CATCH YOU!"<br>Rhonda sighed, ran back... and noticed that the hatch was starting to open. This gave her incentive, and she sprinted to the edge... closed her eyes... and jumped.

"HOL-EE -!"

After a few terrifying seconds of not feeling anything but the wind blowing through her hair, Rhonda landed on something soft.

"Did I make it?" Rhonda asked, her eyes still closed. "Or am I in Heaven?"  
>"No, Rhon, you made it!" Patrick said, and Rhonda opened her eyes to find that she had landed on a pile of pillows in yet another abandoned apartment. Patrick helped her up.<p>

"I... made it!" Rhonda said, smiling. "For a second, I thought for sure I was gonna die!"  
>"Told you you would," Patrick said. "Now come on, let's go! Help me move this fridge!" Rhonda helped Patrick shove an old refrigerator aside to reveal a secret passageway.<p>

...  
>Meanwhile...<br>...

"Darn, what a jump!" one of the gangster said as he, a few more gangsters, and Big Poppa/Caine stood at the edge. "We'll never make it!" But Big Poppa took a chug of his cigar and blew the smoke in the gangster's face.

"I don't wanna hear no complainin', Theodore! If that girl could make the jump while screaming her head off all the way there, you can too!"

...  
>Meanwhile...<br>...

"Okay, get in the elevator!" Patrick yelled as he and Rhonda ran to the end of the secret passageway, where an elevator was waiting.  
>"Does that thing still work?" Rhonda asked.<br>"Yeah! I rigged its power up to another building that isn't abandoned!"  
>"But how did you... oh, never mind!" Rhonda got in the elevator with Patrick, and he pressed a button. She pressed the button for the ground floor, and the elevator started to slowly go down... but after a few moments, it suddenly fell to the ground like a brick. Rhonda got out, and shot Patrick a dirty look.<br>"Hey... I didn't get to work out all the kinks, okay? But we're on the ground! Now, to get out."

Rhonda followed Patrick through the abandoned building, and into a parking lot... which was walled in and had a tall, locked gate. There was also a car parked in the corner.

"Oh god... what will we do?" Rhonda asked. Patrick just walked over to the car.  
>"Oh no... you aren't thinking of..."<br>"Yep," Patrick said with a grin. "Daddy taught me how to hotwire cars!"  
>"But... doesn't somebody, um... OWN that car?"<br>"Listen Rhon, do you wanna escape or not?"  
>"But you can't drive!"<br>"Sure I can!" Patrick insisted. "I have this peg in my jacket that lets me reach the pedals!"

Rhonda just sighed and looked at her clock. "6:21. My life is officially over."  
>"Okay, we're ready!" Patrick said. "Get in, Rhon!"<br>Rhonda then heard a loud crashing noise, and looked back down the hall - the gangsters, and Big Poppa, were there! Rhonda wasted no time running to the car and hopping in the passenger's seat.

"Okay, hold on to your butt!" Patrick said as he fastened his seatbelt and fastened the peg to his foot. Rhonda went to put her seatbelt on... but her seat didn't have one.  
>"Ready?" Patrick asked. He saw the gangsters coming out of the hall... "Here we GO!"<p>

Patrick started the car, floored the pedal and went tearing through the gate and out of the parking lot. As Rhonda held on to her seat for dear life, Patrick swerved left and went flying down the street, weaving in and out of traffic. His every turn was met with a chorus of horns blaring, and his driving was inexperienced and wreckless, but Patrick just laughed.

"Uh, Patrick?" Rhonda nervously said as she looked at her rear-view mirror, "Those guys are following us!" Patrick looked in the mirror, and sure enough, the red car was speeding after them.

"Well, can't have THAT, can we!" Patrick grinned as he took a right turn and went flying down another road.  
>"Patrick, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Rhonda yelled as she held onto her seat.<br>"Of course! We gotta get to the bridge! But I can't shake 'em!" Patrick yelled back. "Get the paintball gun out of the back seat and shoot their windshield!"  
>"You want me to WHAT?"<br>"Ya heard me! Just grab the gun, aim at their windshield, and shoot it up! They won't be able to see a thing!"

Not believing she was doing this, Rhonda reached into the back seat and grabbed the paintball gun. She then leaned out her window, aimed at the red car's windshield, and riddled it with paintballs. The paintballs splattered against the windshield, and sure enough, the red car started swerving.

"Good shootin' Rhon!" Patrick said, "Now let's lose 'em!" He took a sharp left turn and went down yet another street, swerving in and out of incoming cars, when suddenly, a big truck pulled right into their way.

"DUUUUCK!" Rhonda screamed, and she and Patrick ducked down as they went under the truck's trailer. The car made it... but the roof didn't, tearing completely off. Patrick poked his head back up as soon as they passed the truck, but Rhonda was still in a fetal position, quivering.

"Okay, we're getting to the bridge!" Patrick yelled. Rhonda looked up, and saw that it was starting to open and lift up to let a passing ship through, forming a ramp.  
>"Patrick, STOP!" Rhonda yelled, "WE CAN'T JUMP THAT!"<br>"Oh yes we CAN!" Patrick grinned. He floored the engine and went flying toward the rising ramp... started to go up it... and then, the car flew off of it and went over the gap.

"WHOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!" Patrick yelled.  
>"OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Rhonda yelled.<br>"!"  
>"OH MY !"<br>"!"

However, their car landed perfectly at the other end! Patrick laughed like a madman as he sped down the bridge, hit the road, and swerved into a backalley and stopped.

"NOW THAT'S HOW YOU DRIVE A FREAKIN' CAR!" Patrick yelled victoriously as he grabbed Rhonda in a hug. "We made it! We lost 'em! We survived!"  
>"That's great! Just peachy!" Rhonda said nervously. "Now can we get out of here! I hear sirens."<p>

Patrick and Rhonda hopped out of the banged-up car and ran off. They ran out into the street and saw two police cruisers... which rolled right by them. And after a glance around showed no sign of a red car with paintball splatter all over its windshield, Rhonda and Patrick sighed with relief.

"We need to call the police on those guys," Rhonda said. "Just... later. Like next week."  
>"Yeah, right!" Patrick said. "Half the cops in this city are on Caine's payroll! It's all because I didn't pay!"<br>"Well, this is going to sound stupid, but why don't you just approach that guy and say you've got the money?" Rhonda asked. "You've got enough... and hey, we're Lloyds! We could give that bloated jerk whatever he wants."  
>"But he wants blood!" Patrick said. "You cross Caine once, he will not stop, no matter what, until your butt's on his mantle! He's like the freakin' Terminator. Only considerably fatter."<p>

Rhonda sighed. "Well, we'll just see about that... but no matter what, Caine's going down! Nobody tries to kill a Lloyd - much less two - and get away with it!"

After a long walk, Rhonda and Patrick got home. They opened the door to find Buckley and Brooke, who ran over and hugged them.  
>"There you are!" Brooke said, "We've been worried sick!"<br>"And why are you so sweaty?" Buckley asked.  
>"Oh, we just ran a marathon together," Rhonda lied, chuckling nervously. "Yeah... that's it!"<br>"Well, you're home, and that's what matters," Brooke said. "Oh, and you didn't see a car chase, did you? It's been all over the news!"  
>"No!" Patrick said. "It was pretty boring, to tell you the truth. Hehe!"<br>"Well, okay," Buckley said. "We're just glad you're safe. Now go take baths! You're filthy."

Rhonda and Patrick couldn't run upstairs to their bathtubs fast enough. 


	7. What's Beef?

Chapter 7: What's Beef?

That night, Rhonda and Patrick were alone in Rhonda's room. Buckley and Brooke were asleep, so they were basically on their own and free to discuss their problem in private. But at this point, it was more like an argument.

"Patrick, we need to tell Mommy and Daddy!" Rhonda said. "We can't go and take on this guy by ourselves!"  
>"But Rhon!" Patrick argued, "Then they'll know that we lied about not bein' in that chase! Trust me, we can do it."<br>"But Patrick... this is dangerous! We could end up like that Scheck guy did!"  
>"OR, we could be safe, have Caine out of the picture, and not worry Mom and Dad to death!"<p>

"Okay then, Patrick," Rhonda said as she started pacing around the room. "What do you propose we do?"  
>"Tomorrow, we make Mom and Dad think we're going to school," Patrick explained, "But we don't, and instead sneak into Caine's palace and plant a bomb! I know where to get 'em-"<br>"Absolutely not," Rhonda said. "Let's try to do this without committing murder, okay? What if I just went and talked to Caine, and tried to cut him some sort of deal?"

There was a pause.

"WHAT?" Patrick asked. "Rhon, you crazy! He knows who you are after that chase! He'll cut your head off and bake it in his oven!"  
>"Not if he has a lot of money shoved in his lap, he won't!" Rhonda said. "I go in there, explain the situation, and offer him, say, four times what you owed!"<br>"What did I tell you?" Patrick argued, "He wants blood!"  
>"Well, maybe I can convince him otherwise," Rhonda said. "And besides," she added with a sly smile, and batted her eyes while making her voice more sultry sounding, "I can be quite convincing..."<p>

Patrick furrowed his brow at her. "Rhon, you're 13. CHILL."  
>Rhonda dropped the act. "Alright, then. But seriously, just let me go talk to Caine tomorrow. I promise you that he'll be out of our hair, no matter what."<br>But Patrick sighed. "Rhon... I just don't want you to get hurt, or worse."  
>"Don't worry, I won't," Rhonda said with a grin, and then hugged Patrick and kissed him. "Now go to bed."<br>"Okay," Patrick said, and he hugged and kissed her back. "Night, Rhon."  
>"Goodnight, Patrick."<p>

Patrick left the room, and as soon as he closed the door, Rhonda fell down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling.

"Rhonda, what are you getting yourself into?"

...  
>The next morning...<br>...

Rhonda and Patrick bid their parents goodbye and walked out the door... but hid behind a trash can as Buckley and Brooke left for work. As soon as the coast was clear, Rhonda and Patrick headed off towards Caine's palace.

"Okay Rhon, I drew this map up," Patrick said, and he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it. "It'll take you right to the palace. I gotta lay low... but I'll be watching you. Just be careful, okay?"  
>"Don't worry," Rhonda said. "I got this."<p>

Patrick ran down an alleyway and Rhonda followed the map. It was a fairly long walk, but she was going to do it.

"Okay, take a right at King street, then a left at Paul's Boutique, then a right at Green Meats, then go straight on Winchester Blvd, until I come to Lipschitz Dr., where I go straight again, until I... well, here I am."

Rhonda reached the palace, which was a tall, luxurious suite with a neon sign that labeled the building as "Pancho's Villa."  
>"Is this right?" Rhonda asked herself, but when she happened to see two men in suits loading a suspicious looking bag into the trunk of a luxury car, she realized that this was indeed the place. Gathering up any courage she had in her, Rhonda walked up to the front doors and opened them to find herself in a huge, plush lobby with a reception desk in the center.<p>

"Can I help you, young lady?" the receptionist asked.  
>"Why, yes you can," Rhonda said. "Does a man named Caine happen to live here?"<br>The receptionist raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sure, he's up on the top floor in Suite 194. Why?"  
>"I need to talk to him."<br>"Do you have an appointment?"  
>"Um, no," Rhonda said, "But I'll make one."<br>The receptionist pressed a button. "Big Poppa, there's a young girl who wants to talk to you."  
>"DAMNIT!" a deep, thick voice yelled, but then it calmed down. "Okay, send her in."<p>

Rhonda just shrugged and walked to the elevator. She pressed the button to go up to the top floor, and waited for a while while horrible muzak tortured her ears. Finally, the elevator arrived at its destination, and Rhonda stepped out.

"Okay," she said as she walked down the hall, checking all the doors. "187...188...189...190...191...192...193...194." She knocked, and a tall, imposing-looking man in a suit opened the door.

"Come on in," he said. "Don't try anything funny." Rhonda stepped in, and saw that it was... pretty much a gangsta's paradise. There were neon lights everywhere, at least two pool tables, about four huge flat-screen TVs, and even a huge aquarium with tiger sharks in it. But then, the man who let her in started to pat her down.

"What is the meaning of this?" Rhonda asked. "Get your filthy - uh, could you please stop touching me?"  
>"Sorry, girl," he said. "I gotta make sure you ain't carrying any weapons. Okay, you can go. Big Poppa's in his office upstairs."<p>

Rhonda then made her way up the fancy staircase, when Big Poppa himself came out of a room, this time wearing a white suit and fedora. But as soon as he saw Rhonda, he scowled.

"Hey, hey, hey - you're that girl who was with that Pee-Wee busta!" he yelled. "Gimme one reason I shouldn't feed y'all to my sharks!"  
>"Because I'm here to give you money?" Rhonda said, trying to keep cool.<br>"Keep talkin'."  
>"Well, I can pay you about four times what "Pee-Wee" owed you, and more!" Rhonda said. Big Poppa's brow furrowed.<p>

"What did that fool tell you?" Big Poppa frowned.  
>"Oh, he just told me that you were after him because he owed you about 400 dollars. But I have a deal: If you leave "Pee-Wee" and I alone, and never come back into our lives again... I can pay you well." Rhonda briefly considered bringing up her family, but decided against it, just in case Big Poppa got any funny ransom ideas.<p>

Big Poppa stroked his chin. "Hm. Well... first, I need to know I can trust you and that you won't stab me in the back."  
>"Seriously?" Rhonda asked. "I'm just a girl! Well, not just any girl, but-"<br>"Well, you'd be surprised at some of the little girls I've dealt with," Big Poppa said. "There was this one chick with weird clothes and her hair dyed blue... boy, what a pain she was!"  
>"Just get to the point," Rhonda said.<br>"Alright." Big Poppa headed into his office and came back out with two small boxes in a bag with a shoulder strap.

"I need y'all to deliver this stuff to the west side o' town. It's at 168 Gat Street. When you get there, ask about this brother named Makaveli. We used to be tight, but now we ain't. But for some reason, he called me and asked for two packs of product. Scrilla's scrilla, so it's a deal. Take this stuff there, stay focused, and luckily those hatin' pigs won't worry about a little girl like you. Talk to Makaveli, give him his two packs, and then he'll give you the money, which you'll then bring here. You hear me, girl?"

"Crystal," Rhonda said. "Take this stuff to 168 Gat Street, give it to Makaveli, and bring back your cash."  
>Big Poppa smiled and patted her on the head. "Good! Now get goin'!"<p>

As Rhonda left his suite, Big Poppa sat back in his leather sofa, picked up a Super Nintendo controller, and started to play Street Fighter 2. "Ah, Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis... when I was dead broke, man, I couldn't picture this!"  
>"That's great, Big Poppa," one of his guards said. "But are you sure that we can trust... a little girl?"<br>"Donald, you worry too much," Big Poppa laughed. "It's all good, baybee baybee..."

"I can't believe this!" Rhonda exclaimed as soon as she stepped outside. "I'm running an errand for the man who killed my brother's family!"  
>"Huh?" Patrick asked out of nowhere. Rhonda looked around, and couldn't find him... but he poked out of a dumpster.<br>"Listen, Patrick, I got to talk to him, and he sounded interested in my offer, but first he needs me to deliver some crap to the "West Side" so I can prove myself, I guess."  
>"Rhon, don't do that crap!" Patrick exclaimed. "This is deep... come on, there are other ways!"<br>"Patrick, I've already gotten way farther than I thought I would," Rhonda said. "Just keep low, and don't worry. I've got this." And with that, she headed to the West Side...

Rhonda eventually arrived at 168 Gat Street. It wasn't an immaculate neighborhood, but she'd seen far worse. But suddenly...

"MY FO'FO MAKE SHO' ALL YO' KIDS DON'T GROW! Y'ALL SHOULDA NEVER MESSED WITH MAKAVELI THE DON! WEST SIDE 'TILL WE DIE!"

The angry shouting was coming from an open window of the house in front of Rhonda. She crept up and peeked through the window, and saw a bald African-American man with a goatee slam his phone down. Keeping her ultimate goal in mind the whole time so she wouldn't chicken out, Rhonda walked up to his door and knocked. The man answered it and looked down at her. "Hi. Do I know you?"

"Are you Makaveli?" Rhonda asked.  
>"I sure am," Makaveli said with a grin. "How'd you know?"<br>"Well, first of all, your window was open the whole time," Rhonda pointed out. "Second of all, I was sent here by Caine, or Big Poppa, or C-Notes, or whatever his name is. He wanted me to bring you two packs of... something."  
>Makaveli's eyes narrowed. "Big Poppa... that fat sucker. But this must be it!" Rhonda took the packages out of her bag, and Makaveli eagerly took them from her and opened them.<p>

"Ah... special Gummi Bears!" Makaveli grinned. "I love these things!"  
>Rhonda couldn't believe her eyes. "Seriously? Gummi Bears?"<br>"Yeah! What's wrong with that?"  
>"Oh, nothing," Rhonda said. "I just had a feeling I was transporting something... else. Anyway, you have the money?"<br>"Yep," Makaveli said, and he reached into his pocket. "I hate to pay that fat motherhumper, but a deal's a deal." He then handed Rhonda a twenty-dollar bill. "Here, take this as a tip."  
>"Thank you," Rhonda said. She turned around to head back, but...<p>

"What's this?" Makaveli shouted as he took a piece of paper out of the Gummy Bears bag. "If Fay had twins, she'd probably have two pacs?"" He growled angrily and clenched his fists.  
>"I didn't do it," Rhonda said quickly.<br>"I know you didn't," Makaveli said, "It was that fat mother-humper Big Poppa! He thinks he can just diss ME and get away with it? I'ma HIT 'IM UP! Tell him I said that, by the way."  
>"Uh, okay," Rhonda said with a shrug, and as Makaveli ripped the note in two and stopped on it, she started to leave. But he calmed down considerably and called for her.<p>

"Hey, girl!"  
>Rhonda turned around.<br>"Keep ya head up."  
>"Thanks," Rhonda said as she walked off, and Makaveli returned to stomping on the tattered note.<p>

"Why do these two guys seem so familiar?" she asked herself. "Now to deliver this cash to that fat jerk... I don't really want to put money in his pockets, but whatever will keep Patrick and I safe."

Rhonda finally arrived back at Big Poppa's palace and went to his suite, where he was standing at the door, waiting.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Big Poppa said. "Did ya do it? And did Makaveli get his message?"  
>"Yeah," Rhonda said. "He told me to tell you that you were a fat mother-humper, whatever that means."<br>Big Poppa just laughed. "He acts like he's so tough, but he used to be a ballerina! Ha ha ha!"  
>"Fascinating," Rhonda said drolly. Anyway, I got your cash." She handed him the money.<br>"Good deal, girl!" Big Poppa laughed. "See Donald? Told ya she'd work out."  
>"Yeah," Rhonda said, folding her arms. "Now let's talk business. I ran your errand, it's time to get things settled for good."<br>"Alright, then," Big Poppa said. "Pee-Wee really peeved me off... and let's not start on what his dad did... but oh well. Gimme 14,000 dollars and it's a deal."  
>Rhonda was surprised at just how high the price was - but as she took out her credit card...<p>

"Unh unh unh!" Big Poppa said. "I only take cash. This deal's gotta be up-front, in dollars."  
>Rhonda's eyes went wide. "Seriously?"<br>"Yep," Big Poppa said with a grin.  
>"But I don't have that much!"<br>"Then we don't have a deal, do we?" Big Poppa said.  
>"Wait - I'll be back with the money," Rhonda said. "I'll pay you, no matter what."<br>"Jeez, you must really be attached to that little twerp, huh?" Big Poppa said. "Go ahead... but make it fast. The sooner I get paid, the sooner I don't do something dead wrong."

Rhonda left the Palace and started to walk down the street in a huff, and Patrick hopped out of an alleyway and joined her.

"So what's the deal?" he asked.  
>"I ran the stuff to that Makaveli fellow, and now Big Poppa wants 14,000 bucks!" Rhonda exclaimed. "I don't even get that much in birthday money!"<br>"It's okay, don't worry about it," Patrick said, but somewhat sadly. "We'll just find another way."  
>"No, we got this far," Rhonda said, "We can't give up now... let's go home, I have a set of keys. We'll think of something..."<p>

After getting into their house, Rhonda and Patrick went up to Rhonda's room to sit on her bed and make another plan.

"Okay, so Big Poppa, the sorry Notorious B.I.G. imitator that he is, wants 14,000 bucks," Patrick said, and a lightbulb seemed to go off in Rhonda's head.  
>"I thought he reminded me of somebody... but then again, so did Makaveli."<br>"He's a sorry 2Pac imitator, but that's beside the point," Patrick said. "We need some way to work up 14 Gs in cash, and fast! What if we asked Mom and Dad!"  
>"No, that would be too suspicious," Rhonda said.<br>"Well, what if we opened up a small independent business?" Patrick suggested. "You know, like mowing lawns, cleaning houses..."  
>"...getting paid a couple bucks an hour," Rhonda added. "Not going to work."<br>"Then I don't kno-HEY!" Patrick exclaimed, "We could rob a bank! Rhonda and Patrick: Bonnie and Clyde for a new generation!"

Rhonda just glared at Patrick for a few seconds. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."  
>"Whatever, Rhon," Patrick shrugged. Rhonda then got up and started to pace around... when she happened to notice her closet door, and a thought came into her head. She walked over and opened it... to reveal a vast gallery of various clothes and fashion accessories. Fur coats, multiple red sweaters, black pants and red shoes, fancy hats, necklaces... combined, it was worth a fortune.<p>

As Rhonda walked into her closet, she frowned - she loved her clothes, and wasn't going to like getting rid of them. But it would be worth a fortune... and while she did love her clothes, she loved Patrick more.

Rhonda closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and made her decision.  
>"Rhon? What's going on?"<br>Rhonda opened her eyes and got a determined smile on her face. "I know just what we're gonna do." 


	8. I Love The Dough

Chapter 8: I Love The Dough

Patrick's eyes went as wide as saucers. "You seriously ain't thinking of selling all your clothes?"  
>"Mm-mm," Rhonda nodded. "Well, not all of them - I have to have my party dresses, my sweaters and pants, my red Spumoni shoes, a few necklaces, a couple scarves, and at least three or so coats. But look at all this!" Rhonda showed Patrick her closet, which was at least as big as her room was. "I don't even wear half of this stuff, and it could be worth a LOT of money. It's worth a shot."<p>

"Well, okay," Patrick said. "But who's gonna buy all this and give us what we want?"  
>Rhonda crossed her arms and thought about it. "Hmm... Peapod Kid's got a sister, but they're over in Norway on vacation... wait." She snapped her fingers. "I know!"<p>

After borrowing a wagon from Mr. Green and loading Rhonda's clothes onto it (and putting a tarp over them so they wouldn't get dirty), Rhonda and Patrick pulled the wagon along the street until they reached a tall blue house. Just as Rhonda was about to knock on the door, the bus came and stopped in front of the house, and Helga got off.

"Hey Rhondaloid! Playin' hooky on us?" Helga said with her usual sardonic tone.  
>"Look, it's a long story," Rhonda said. "Your family's got money, and we need to see if you'll buy some of my clothes."<br>Helga scoffed. "If you think for a minute that I'm gonna wear that crap..."

With dread, Helga opened her door and walked inside. "I'm home!" she said.  
>"Yeah, that's great, girl," Big Bob said dismissively, blowing her off. "Go sit down, Olga and Miriam are making dinner."<br>As Helga stalked over to the living room, Big Bob saw Rhonda and Patrick at the door and his frown worsened. "Girl, did you ask if you and your little friends could have a sleep-over!"  
>"They aren't even my friends, Bob!" Helga snapped back. Big Bob considered yelling at her, but just turned to look at Rhonda and Patrick.<br>"What do you two want?"  
>"Well, I'm Rhonda Lloyd, and I'm trying to sell some of my vast collection of clothes," Rhonda explained. "You're rich, so..."<br>"So what?" Big Bob scowled. "This ain't a fashion show! I ain't buyin' that crap!" He then let loose with a loud belch.  
>"UGH!" Rhonda groaned. "That was unbelievably GROSS!"<br>"Yeah, yeah," Big Bob muttered. "Listen kids, go somewhere else! I ain't buyin'!" But just then, Olga showed up next to him, smiling her usual (and rather fake) sunny smile.

"Did I hear... clothes?" Olga said eagerly.  
>"Why, yes you did!" Rhonda said. "I've got a whole wagon of my clothes for sale! You interested?"<br>Olga walked down the steps, and Patrick lifted the tarp up so she could see. "Hmm... these are a bit small for me, but I work with a lot of little children who would LOVE this stuff!"  
>"So," Rhonda said, her hopes raising up, "You're interested?"<br>"I sure am!" Olga beamed. "How much do you want?"

"Well, um... I was thinking about 14,000... in cash."

As soon as he heard this, Big Bob's eyes about popped out of his skull. "14,000! NO HUMPIN' WAY!"  
>"But Daddy!" Olga argued, "I know kids who barely have anything! They would love this stuff!"<br>"Well, they aren't gonna get it then, are they?" Big Bob said, folding his arms. "First you wanna be an actress, and now this crap! Olga, I can't believe you!"  
>"But Daddy!" Olga repeated, and she put on a pleading face. "Please, think of the children!"<br>"Yeah Daddy," Patrick butted in, "Think of the children, you fat motherf-" but Rhonda covered his mouth.  
>"Awww... YOU'RE TEARIN' ME APART, OLGA!" Big Bob exclaimed. But just then, Helga came out with a frown.<p>

"Bob, the kitchen's on fire."  
>"What!" Big Bob exclaimed. "Oh, that Miriam..." He then scowled, pulled a check and pen out of his pocket, and scribbled on it and gave it to Rhonda. "Here, if it gets you out of my hair, you daylight robbers! You've seen enough as it is! Just leave the wagon here."<p>

Rhonda and Patrick watched as Big Bob, Helga and Olga rushed up into the house, too hurried to close the door. They couldn't see anything, but Rhonda and Patrick certainly heard it.  
>"MIRIAM! You were cookin' on a grill INSIDE THE HOUSE?" Big Bob yelled.<br>"Oh honey, it seemed like a good idea after eight smoothies!" Miriam slurred, in her usual drowsy tone.  
>Then, Olga shouted "LOOK OUT, EVERYBODY!", and the sound of a fire extinguisher was heard, and smoke billowed out of the open front door.<br>"GIRL, DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GO CLOSE THE DOOR!" Big Bob yelled. Helga then sulked over to the front door, gave Rhonda and Patrick a half-hearted wave goodbye, and slammed the door shut.

"Wow," Rhonda said, "I had no idea Helga had it so bad..."  
>"Yeah... we should probably go," Patrick said. He started to walk off, but Rhonda just looked back at the house, frowning.<br>"I never thought I would say this, but I feel sorry for Helga Pataki," Rhonda said. "What is this world coming to!"  
>"I dunno, let's just go to the bank."<p>

After grabbing a couple of suitcases from home to carry the money in and cashing in the check at the bank, Rhonda took a suitcase in each hand. "Okay, same thing as before."  
>"Tail you, but stay out of sight," Patrick said. "Got it. Just be careful."<br>Rhonda blew him a kiss before heading to Big Poppa's palace.

After another long and hellish elevator ride with awful Muzak, Rhonda reached the top floor and walked to Big Poppa's door. She knocked, and the same guard from before let her in.

"Okay, same thing," he said, and he started to pat Rhonda down. After that, he inspected the suitcases, and grinned when he opened them.  
>"Whoa mama, look at all this green!" He then tried to grab a single bill and put it in his coat, but a big finger tapped him on his shoulder.<br>"Don't even think about it, Tony," Big Poppa scowled. As Tony walked off grumbling, Big Poppa got a huge grin on his face.  
>"Hey, hey, hey! You got my money! I trust that it's 14,000?"<br>"Yep," Rhonda said. "Okay, I did my part. Now you better come through!"  
>Big Poppa chuckled. "Was that a threat? You know who I am, girl? But I'm a man of my word." He pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of his shiny black suit and wrote on it before handing it to Rhonda:<p>

I, BIG POPPA, HEREBY DECLARE THAT LIL' PEE-WEE IS FREE TO GO AND THAT THE DEBT HAS BEEN PAID.

"There," Big Poppa said, "Happy now, girl?"  
>"More than happy," Rhonda said. "Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna leave, and not to be rude or anything... but I kind of hope I never see you again."<br>Big Poppa laughed uproariously. "Alright, then. Hey - what's your name?" he asked. "You look familiar, and stuff."

"Um... Olivia Hack," Rhonda lied, not wanting him to find out she was a Lloyd.  
>"Okay, Olivia... pleasure doing business with you!" Big Poppa said with a sleazy grin.<br>"Oh, trust me, the pleasure was all mine," Rhonda said.

But as soon as Big Poppa closed his door, Rhonda sprinted down the hall and got in the elevator. She went down to the ground floor, sprinted out of the building and into the street, and started hopping up and down.

"I did it! Patrick's free! I'm free! Now, to find Patrick."

Rhonda headed to the alleyway where she met Patrick last time and rapped her fist on the dumpster. Sure enough, Patrick popped out.  
>"Well?" he asked.<br>"We did it." She showed Patrick the release form. "You're free."  
>Patrick hopped out of the dumpster and about choked Rhonda, he hugged her so hard. "Thank you thank you thank you!" He repeated, "You're the best friend I've ever had I love you Rhon thank you thank you thank you!"<br>"M-my pleasure," Rhonda choked, "But... do you mind easing up? You're kind of... suff-suffocating me."  
>"Oh, sorry," Patrick said, and he let go. "But I can't believe you did all that... for me. Thank you, Rhon." He stood up on his tip-toes and gave her a kiss.<p>

"Come on, let's go home," Rhonda grinned. "School's over, but Mommy and Daddy are probably wondering where we are."

Rhonda and Patrick then walked home, hand-in-hand.

That night, Buckley and Brooke had gone to bed, but Rhonda and Patrick were still up and in his bedroom, bored.

"What do you wanna do?" Patrick asked. "We could go downstairs and play Duke Nukem 3D."  
>"Eh, I'll pass," Rhonda said. "Do you like checkers?"<br>"Yeah!"  
>"Well, I bet you can't beat me," Rhonda said. "I've played Nadine, I've played Big Patty, I've played Arnold - NO ONE has beaten me."<br>"Oh, we'll just see about that," Patrick smirked. "I'm the best there ever was!"  
>"Okay, here's a deal," Rhonda proposed. "If you beat me, I'm going to do a rap song in front of everyone tomorrow."<br>Patrick laughed. "Really? You'd do that?"  
>"Well, no," Rhonda grinned, "Because I won't lose!"<br>"You're on!"

Rhonda went and got the board and checkers out of her room and set it on Patrick's bed. They then sat on the bed and started to play.

"Hey Rhon - who's Arnold?" Patrick asked as he moved a checker."I know Nadine and Big Patty, but Arnold?"  
>"Oh, he went to the jungle with his parents," Rhonda explained as she moved another checker. "He's this kid with a football-shaped head, but he's really smart, has style, and is actually pretty sweet. We dated for a little while."<br>"Really?"  
>"Yeah," Rhonda said as she played. "We danced together at a school dance and enjoyed it, so we thought we'd give it a try. We broke up the next day."<br>"Ouch!" Patrick exclaimed. "What happened?"  
>"We just weren't right for each other," Rhonda said, "That's all. It was nothing ugly or anything."<p>

"Good," Patrick said as he made another move. "Hey Rhon... you interested in anybody?"  
>"None of your business!" Rhonda said.<br>"Hey, I'm your brother. I'm supposed to be concerned about who you like. They aren't thugs, are they?"  
>"No," Rhonda said. "Well... maybe one of them is..."<br>"Who?"  
>"I said, none of your business!" Rhonda said, but with a grin. "I've told you enough as it is!"<br>"Fine, be that way," Patrick said. But he suddenly got the biggest grin on his face after making his move.

"Checkmate, Rhon! Looks like you're gonna be rapping!"  
>Rhonda looked down at the board and realized that she'd been defeated. "WHAT? Impossible! Well... my mind WAS on other things..."<br>"I know, that's my strategy," Patrick said. "Get talking, get 'em distracted, and kick their butts!"  
>"Isn't that cheating?"<br>"Kind of," Patrick said. "But the bet stands. You've gotta rap tomorrow!"

Rhonda groaned. "Oh well... it's just fast talking. How hard could it be?"

...  
>Tomorrow...<br>...

In the school playground, Patrick had set up a sound stand with turntables and switches, and Rhonda was standing there with a microphone. She was far from enjoying this, but compared to Helga's usual expression, she looked absolutely thrilled.

"OKAY EVERYBODY!" Patrick announced. "My sister wants to show you what she can do on the mic!"

Everybody turned to face Patrick and Rhonda. "Ready!" Patrick yelled. "Kick it!" He started hitting switches and turning the turntables to make a beat, and Rhonda started rapping.

"Yo, my name is Rhonda," she said drolly. "I want a Honda. This might sound funny, but I don't have money. I go to the car place, and punch the guy in the face, I kick him in the knees, he gives me the keys. I get in the car, and drive really far, until I find a bar. I start to drink, 'till I start seein'... uh, pink?"

Everybody started laughing uproariously - including Patrick.  
>"Hey - it's not as easy as it looks!" Rhonda snapped. "It's not funny!"<br>"C'mon, Rhon!" Patrick grinned as he patted her on the back. "We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you! You gotta admit, those lyrics were terrible!"

Rhonda thought about it... and a smile slowly came to her face. "Well, I guess it was... kind of funny!" Soon, she was laughing along with everyone else. Patrick hugged her, and she hugged him back.

"Rhon, I love you," he grinned, "You're the best big sister in the world."  
>"And you're the best little brother," Rhonda smiled back. "You're just what I needed in my life, you little shrimp."<p>

THE END ...  
>JUST KIDDING! There's more of the story to come... <p>


	9. Young Love

Chapter 9: Young Love

The next day, Rhonda and Patrick got on the bus. It was like the weight of the world was off their shoulders; Big Poppa was out of their lives. It was like starting over. But as they walked to their seat, Rhonda noticed a pink piece of paper sitting on her usual seat. She opened it up...

Dear Rhonda,

I've been trying to tell you this for a really, really long time, but I like you. A LOT. I know I may not be your type, and I understand... but I just wanted to let you know.

Sincerely,

Your Secret Admirer

Hint: I wear a hat.

"Wonder who it could be?" Rhonda thought aloud. She got notes like these all the time, but this one intrigued her for some reason... as a couple boys she liked wore hats. And Curly never wore a hat.

"Oooh, somebody likes ya!" Patrick grinned. "Wonder who it is?"

"I don't know," Rhonda said, "But I have a couple suspects..." She looked around the bus. Harold was deep into a comic book and seemed oblivious to everything around him, and Sid looked somewhat sheepish, but Stinky was patting him on the back.

"Sid?" Rhonda thought, and quickly turned away so he wouldn't know she was looking at him. Rhonda didn't show it - and in fact, never really realized it - but she had feelings for him. Sure, she called him "Dickface" once, but... that was a long time ago.

...

After class, in the cafeteria, Rhonda and Patrick got their lunch and sat down with Nadine and Gerald.

"Did y'all hear the news?" Gerald asked after taking a sip of his Yahoo soda. "They're gonna tear down the old FTi building!"

Rhonda chuckled. "Poetic justice much? Besides, that thing's been falling apart for years. It's about time." But then, she noticed that Helga was sitting across the room by herself, as Phoebe had a cold and couldn't be there. And after seeing Helga's home life for herself, Rhonda had really been reconsidering her stance on Helga.

"Hey guys, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go sit with Helga," Rhonda said. She picked up her tray and walked over to Helga's table. But Helga just frowned at her.

"What is it, Princess Rhondaloid?"

"I was just wondering if I could sit with you," Rhonda said, trying to ignore the insult. "It's just that... well, I had no idea how bad you had it."

"Go right ahead," Helga scoffed, and Rhonda sat next to her. "What, you thought I was just lying this whole time?"

"No, but seeing that... well, it made me think about things. Now, I kinda understand you. I'll admit that I've talked bad about you, but well, I was wrong. I'm sorry."

Helga lightened up. "Seriously? Empathy? Rhonda, you're going soft!"

"I guess I am," Rhonda chuckled. "But hey... if you ever need to "escape" for a little while, my doors are open."

"What would we do?" Helga said with a sarcastic grin. "Have a fashion show? Do each other's nails and hair?"

"Not if you don't want to," Rhonda said. "We'd have fun, and Patrick's cool. Hey, if you like, you can come over for dinner Sunday night."

Helga thought about it, and smiled. "Sure, Rhonda. I'll take you up on your offer."

"Glad to hear it," Rhonda smiled. But Patrick came running up to her with a grin on his face.

"Hey Rhon, I know who likes you!"

"Who?" Rhonda asked.

"It's secret," Patrick said. "But he likes you a lot. Can't say I blame him!"

Rhonda glanced around before leaning in close to Patrick. "...Is it Sid?"

"I told ya, I ain't sayin' jack!" Patrick laughed. "You'll have to figure it out yourself."

He then ran back to his table, and Helga chuckled. "Secret admirer?"

"Yeah," Rhonda said. "The only clue he gave me is that he wears a hat. But I know Harold's with Patty, and Curly doesn't wear hats... I think it's Sid."

"Oh really?" Helga said. "'Dickface', as you used to call him?"

"Hey, that was a long time ago," Rhonda retorted. "And... well, I've always thought he was an okay guy..."

Little did she know that Curly was listening in from another table, and was absolutely horrified at what he heard.

...

Later that day, recess came. Rhonda was pushing Patrick on the swing, when he dug his feet in to stop. "I've gotta take a leak. I won't be long."

"Okay," Rhonda said. But as Patrick headed inside the school and Rhonda walked over to an empty picnic table to do her makeup, she didn't see Stinky take Sid aside, whisper in his ear and point at her.

Rhonda had just opened up her little handheld mirror when Sid came over, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Uh, hi, Rhonda."

"Hello, Sid," Rhonda said, trying to sound like she didn't suspect that anything was up. "What's going on?"

"Well, it's just..." Sid glanced back, and saw Stinky giving him two thumbs up. "Rhonda, you know that piece of paper that I left-uh, somebody left, saying that I lov-uh...like, uh" Rhonda couldn't help but give him a knowing look, and he sighed and clenched his fists.

"Rhonda, I'm your secret admirer. I know I'm not your type, I know that I'm probably making myself look like a moron, but I've liked you for years. I'll admit that I haven't really been picky with girls I like, but I've thought about it, and thought about all the little moments we've ad, and I decided that you're the one. I love you, Rhonda. There, I SAID IT! I LOVE YOU, RHONDA, AND WOULD LIKE TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND! I SAID IT!"

Everyone turned to face them. Sid looked like he was about to faint, but Rhonda was just grinning.

"There, I said it. Go ahead and laugh! You don't want a poor "Dickface"!" But Rhonda stood up and put her hands on his shoulders.

"First of all, that's not your name. Second of all... you just might be surprised." And right then, she wrapped her arms around Sid and gave him a kiss. He hugged and kissed her back... but now, he REALLY looked like he was about to faint.

Just then, Patrick came out of the school. "Hey Rhonda, I'm ready to go aga-" but he suddenly saw her kissing Sid and his eyes went as wide as saucers.

"Rhonda!" Sid said, a goofy grin on his face. "You really... we really..."

"Shh," Rhonda said, putting her finger to her lips. "I haven't always shown it, but... I love you, too. It's worth a shot, anyway."

As they kissed again, Sid looked like he was about to sprout wings and fly up into the sky out of sheer joy.

It was the best moment of his life.

But it was the WORST moment of Curly's.

"NOOO! NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Curly screamed as he ran out of seemingly nowhere, and tackled Sid to the ground. "YOU INHUMAN MONSTER!"

"Curly, stop!" Rhonda pleaded, but Curly shoved her aside and kept screaming right in Sid's face. "First you steal MY STATUS AS BALL MONITOR! And NOW, you steal MY GIRL!"

"Curly, I didn't steal anything!" Sid said, trying to use a calm tone to soothe Curly. "I'm sorry if I did, but... first of all, that ball monitor thing was Mr. Simmons' fault!"

"And you did eventually get to be ball monitor!" Rhonda added.

"And second, I know you like Rhonda, but frankly, I don't think she likes you!"

"But... IT'S WRONG!" Curly screamed, "I don't just like her, I LOVE HER! I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING! BUT NO MORE! I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO THIS PLACE AGAIN!" And with that, he ran off crying.

"Curly!" Rhonda yelled, "Wait!"

"NO! WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!" Curly screamed as he ran out of the schoolyard and into the street. His screaming cries kept getting more and more distant.

"Uh... wow," Rhonda said forlornly. She helped Sid off the ground, who looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

"Whoa... you think he'll be alright?" Sid asked.

"I don't know... but I feel kind of bad," Rhonda admitted. "Sure, he's a little psychopath, but..."

"I know," Sid said. "I just hope he doesn't do anything... drastic. Y'know?"

"Yeah," Rhonda said. "C'mon, let's go." With a grin, she grabbed his hand, and he noticeably blushed. "Come on, let's go."

"R...right away!" Sid said happily.

Rhonda and Sid walked back into school, hand-in-hand, while Patrick followed them, feeling a little shellshocked.

...

Rhonda and Sid spent the rest of the school period not really paying attention in class, but rather looking at each other and holding hands. They'd feel this way about each other for a long time - even if Rhonda's feelings were a bit more repressed - and it was finally coming out. But meanwhile, Patrick was a bit worried. He was happy for them, but what if Rhonda started spending less time with him?

After class, Rhonda and Sid walked out the front doors of P.S.118, hand-in-hand.

"Rhonda, I still can't believe that you... that we..."

"Sid, shut up," Rhonda said with a sly grin. "Just accept it."

"Don't mind if I do!" Sid grinned, and he kissed her, which lead to them embracing. But then, Patrick came up to them and didn't say anything, as he didn't want to interrupt their moment. Finally, Rhonda noticed him.

"Oh, hi, Patrick," She said. "You know Sid, right?"

"'Sup?" Sid said.

"Hey," Patrick replied. "Yeah... so, you wanna go get some ice cream?"

"Well, I was thinking of taking Sid home," Rhonda said. "Sid, what do you think? We can watch TV, play board games... whatever you like?"

Sid's eyes lit up. "Anything?"

"Well, not ANYthing," Rhonda said with a sly grin. "But we can do a lot."

"Okay, I'm up for it!" Sid grinned, but then he became worried. "But what if your mom and dad don't like me? I mean, I'm poor, I'm not really that handsome.."

"Oh, shut up," Rhonda said. "You are handsome, in your own way. And just because you're poor doesn't mean you aren't a great guy. I used to think that... but I've changed a lot."

"Okay, cool!" Sid said. "And... thanks, Rhonda."

"Don't mention it." Rhonda grinned as she gave him a kiss. "C'mon, Patrick, let's go home!"

"Yeah," Patrick said, a bit down. "Sure."

...

"Welcome home!" Buckley smiled as he and Brooke greeted Rhonda and Patrick, but then they saw Sid. "Well, who's this?" Buckley asked, his eyebrow raised.

"Hi, sir, I'm Sid," Sid said as he shook Buckley and Brooke's hands. "I'm sure you've seen me before... and I gotta say, I adore your daughter!"

"Yeah," Rhonda smiled as she wrapped an arm around him, "We just started dating."

Brooke smiled. "That's wonderful, dear! Sure, his hair's a bit off, and his clothes don't mat-"

"Mommy!" Rhonda groaned.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Brooke said. "Come on in."

Rhonda and Sid came in, and Patrick followed them, his shoulders a bit slumped. They went into the living room, and Rhonda turned on the TV as Sid and Patrick sat on the couch. Then, Rhonda left for a little while... and came back with a blanket, which she then put over herself and Sid.

"Want some popcorn?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah, that would be great!" Rhonda said, and Sid nodded in agreement. As Patrick went into the kitchen, Rhonda and Sid snuggled up to each other.

"You know, we've actually spent a lot of time together, just hanging out in the gang," Rhonda said. "I've loved you for a while. It's just that, well, we were so different! The idea of being with somebody so poor sort of grossed me out. But that's over." She kissed Sid on the cheek.

"Aw, Rhonda, I...gee" Sid stammered, blushing.

"In fact, I'd like to thank you for admitting. I don't know if I could have done it!"

"Well, you're welcome," Sid said. "At first, I just liked you because you're so pretty... but I eventually found out that I just feel... right when I'm around you!" Patrick then came in with a bowl of popcorn for them.

"Thank you, Patrick!" Rhonda grinned.

"Yeah, thanks, buddy," Sid said, also grinning.

"No prob," Patrick said as he returned to the kitchen to make his own bowl.

...

After a few more hours of Rhonda and Sid talking and snuggling while watching TV, and Patrick sitting next to them feeling a bit like a third wheel, it was finally time for bed. Sid stood up, and Rhonda walked with him to the door.

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Rhonda!" Sid grinned, "So... see ya tomorrow?"

"You know it," Rhonda said. "Would you like to go out for ice cream?"

"I'd love to!" Sid said with a big grin. "Goodnight, Rhonda."

"Goodnight, Sid."

After a final hug and kiss, Sid walked out the door and onto the street. Rhonda walked into the living room where Patrick was sitting, and let out a wistful sigh.

"I can't believe it!" she beamed, "A boy really... LOVES me! And for once, it's not just because I'm rich and pretty! We're going out for ice cream tomorrow... I can't wait!"

"Yeah," Patrick said, trying to sound enthusiastic. "That's wonderful!"

...

Meanwhile...

...

His eyes red from crying, Thaddeus "Curly" Gammelthorpe stumbled into his bedroom. His parents ignored him (as usual), and didn't really seem to care that their son was completely heartbroken.

"No...WHY! WHY! WHYYYYYY!" Curly went into his closet and shoved aside his clothes, revealing that the whole closet wall was covered in pictures of Rhonda. The framed one that she had given him when she was "dating" him was the centerpiece, but the rest were all candids that he had taken secretly. And in a couple of the pictures, she was angrily approaching him, her hand outstretched. These pictures were his most treasured possessions.

"Rhonda... WHY! WHY! NOOO!" Curly sobbed. "I LOVED you! I STILL love you! Why can't you see it! Isn't it obvious when I sniff your beautiful, silky raven hair, or kiss your soft lips, or look too long into your gorgeous brown eyes, or ask for only a lock of your hair! WHY DO I REPULSE YOU SO! WHY CAN'T WE BE TOGETHER AS ONE AND FREE ALL THE ANIMALS TOGETHER! WHY!" He then picked up his second most prized possession - a doll that he had customized to look like Rhonda that he slept with every night - and hugged it tight while bawling.

"You can't give up, Curly! YOU CANNOT LOSE! YOU MUST NOT LOSE! Rhonda and I are meant to be! She is my EVERYTHING!"


	10. Failure

Chapter 10: Failure

Patrick walked into Rhonda's room, where she was busy in front of the mirror, brushing her hair.  
>"Hey Rhon!" he said eagerly.<br>"Oh, hi, Patrick," Rhonda said, almost dismissively.  
>"Wanna go to the park and play some football today?"<br>Rhonda shook her head. "Actually, Sid and I were going out for ice cream, and then to the movies. You can tag along if you like."  
>"Oh... okay," Patrick said, his shoulders slumping from disappointment. "But what about tomorrow?"<p>

"No, I'm going with Sid to the carnival that day. In fact..." She then picked up a small planner off of her dresser and looked through it. "The day after that... and the day after that... and the day after that... they're filled, too. It looks like the whole next few months are filled up. Sorry Patrick... Sid's more important to me than you are, so if you could just scoot away, that would be great."  
>Tears started to well up in Patrick's eyes. "But Rhon! Can we spend just a little time together?"<br>"Nope," Rhonda said callously. "In fact, from now on, you might as well not exist to me."

Patrick couldn't take it anymore, and fell down to his knees and started to cry. That moment, Sid came into the room, and Rhonda ran into his arms and kissed him.  
>"Come, Sid, let's leave my so-called brother to wallow in his own self-pity," Rhonda smirked.<p>

Patrick woke up hot and sweaty, breathing heavily - when he realized that he was in his bed, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was all just a nightmare. But still... what if Rhonda really did start ignoring him?

Patrick got up out of bed, and left his room - he was going to talk to Rhonda. He reached her door, which was slightly ajar, and knocked on it.

"Come in," Rhonda's voice said. Patrick pushed aside the door to find that Rhonda was sitting in front of the mirror, brushing her hair. The similarity to his dream creeped him out, but Patrick approached her.

"Uh, good morning, Rhon," he said.  
>"Morning, Patrick," Rhonda said as she stroked her hair, "What's wrong? You look worried."<br>"Rhon, it's just that... I'm happy that you and Sid are gonna start dating, but to be real... I'm sorta worried."  
>"Really?" Rhonda asked. "Why?"<br>"I guess I'm just scared that you're not gonna spend as much time with me."

"Aw, you're worried about that?" Rhonda asked, giving him a reassuring smile. "Patrick, I'm not gonna just abandon you because I'm seeing Sid! What gave you that idea?"  
>"It's just that... I dunno," Patrick said. "But if you did abandon me, I'd REALLY miss you."<br>"Oh, come 'ere," Rhonda said, spreading her arms. Patrick gave her a hug, and she wrapped her arms around him.

"Patrick, you'll always be my man," Rhonda said, "Sid can be my Number 2 man."  
>"Promise?"<br>"Cross my heart," Rhonda said.  
>"Thanks," Patrick smiled. "So, you're going for ice cream today after school?"<br>"Yeah," Rhonda said. "We also might go to the boardwalk. But hey, you can come too. We'll have fun! And I promise not to smooch all over Sid the whole time, okay?"  
>"Okay," Patrick said.<p>

Rhonda and Patrick got on the bus, and Sid was sitting near the front with a grin on his face.

"Hi, Rhonda! I saved you a seat!"  
>"Thank you, Sid," Rhonda smiled, and she sat down next to him, not wanting to turn down his kind gesture. Patrick got in the seat behind them, with Gerald.<p>

"So, you ready for our date?" Rhonda asked with a sly grin.  
>"You know it," Sid said. "Ice cream?"<br>"Yep," Rhonda said, "And I was thinking about going to the boardwalk. But is it alright if Patrick comes?"  
>"Yeah, sure!" Sid said, and he looked back at Patrick and smiled. "We'll have a great time, just the three of us."<p>

After a long school day, the bell finally rang, and Rhonda, Sid and Patrick headed out the front door of P.S.118 and got in the bus with the other kids. But they weren't going home, they were going to the boardwalk.

But little did they know that they were being followed...

"It pains me to watch it!" Curly said as he watched Rhonda and Sid hold hands as they got on the bus. "But I must follow them... Curly may be down, but never count him out!"

Curly hopped out from behind his hiding place, ran after the bus, and hopped onto the back and clung on without anyone inside seeing him. This was nothing he hadn't done before, as he'd secretly followed Rhonda home this way countless times before.

"I hear they're going to the boardwalk carnival... well, I'll just have to best Sid at the games, get the biggest teddy bear they have, and win my sweet Rhonda's heart! And if Sidney interferes... well, I came prepared!" he grinned, patting his pocket where he was keeping a slingshot.

But as Curly rode the bus, he couldn't help but notice that a red car was following it everywhere it went. Its driver and passengers - four men in nice suits - looked perplexed at Curly, but just kept following the bus.

"Wonder who those guys are... who cares? Rhonda WILL be mine!"

The bus finally arrived at the boardwalk carnival, and Rhonda, Patrick and Sid stepped out while Curly hopped off and darted to a hiding place behind some trash cans, and the red car parked in a shady area under some trees.

"Well... what do you wanna do first?" Rhonda asked. "There's so much to do!" Carnival games, food kiosks and small rides were all over the place, and there were lots of people riding rides, getting snacks, playing games, and generally just having fun.

"Wanna play some games?" Sid asked. "I'll win you a teddy bear!"  
>"Not if I win you one first," Rhonda grinned. "What would you like to do, Patrick?" she asked.<br>"That's fine with me," Patrick said with a smile. As they walked along the boardwalk to pick a game to play, Sid couldn't help but snicker.

"Hey Rhonda, remember when we tried one of the games here? I think it was one where you have to knock over the milk bottles with a ball. You missed, and I said you threw like a girl..."  
>"And I said that you threw like a little shrimp with stringy hair and big ears and your hat on backwards!" Rhonda smirked.<br>"Whoa, good memory, man!" Sid laughed.  
>"And remember when we were in that cave looking for Wheezin' Ed's treasure, and we saw those chicken bones, and you got so scared you jumped into my arms?" Rhonda asked.<br>"How could I forget?" Sid asked. "But you threw me off."  
>"I know," Rhonda said. "But looking back, it was actually kinda... sweet that you did tha- hey, speak of the Devil."<p>

They were next to the same hit-the-bottle game that Rhonda and Sid were talking about.

"Here, all three of us will give it a shot, and I'm paying," Rhonda said.  
>"No, I'll pay!" Sid argued. "Isn't it... I dunno, gentlemanly for the boyfriend to pay?"<br>"Yes it is," Rhonda said, "But I've also got more money than you do. Er, no offense."  
>"None taken," Sid said. "Thanks."<br>"My pleasure," Rhonda grinned as she put the money down and grabbed a baseball from the counter. After taking a moment to aim, she threw the ball, and hit the top bottle... but it just wobbled and then stayed in place.

"Okay, my turn... GIRL," Sid chuckled teasingly as Rhonda stepped aside and he grabbed a ball from the desk. He aimed, and tossed his ball... only to hit the wall. Rhonda just shook her head and grinned at him.

"Backwards hat-wearing twerp." Sid just took off his hat and gently hit her with it as they both laughed.

"Okay, my turn!" Patrick said, grabbing a ball. He aimed and threw, and hit the center of the bottle stack... causing them all to wobble... but they ultimately just wobbled back into place.

"Man, forget it," Patrick said as he, Rhonda and Sid walked off. "I don't even know why we bothered. Everybody knows those game are more crooked than a politician!" But then...

"Oh, Princess Rhonda!" a familiar-sounding voice called from behind them. They turned around and there was Curly, with a ball in his hand and a grin on his face.  
>"You're about to get a load of what you're missin', sugar!" he boasted before throwing the ball... and knocking all of the bottles over. "Pretty impressive, huh, Rhonda? Don't you wish you had a guy with skills like this?"<p>

One could almost hear Rhonda's eyes rolling in their sockets. "Oh, you just paid off the carny," she said, "Patrick made that exact same shot, and they just wobbled a litte!"  
>"You're just a cheat!" Sid added.<br>"A cheat... or a BALL WIZARD?" Curly asked excitedly. "Could it be that the forces of the BALL WIZARDS are looking over me? Ever thought of that?"

"Curly, I'm sorry," Patrick said, "But you really should be in some kind of home."  
>Curly clenched his small fists and grimaced, clearly offended. "How dare you say that, when you have no IDEA how far me and Rhonda go back!"<br>"This wasn't even about Rhon!" Patrick argued. "Why can't you just leave her alone!"  
>Curly actually laughed at this. "Leave my beautiful Rhonda alone? HA! You must be crazy."<br>"I'M the crazy one?" Patrick exclaimed.  
>Sid just sighed and whispered into Rhonda's ear. "Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle."<p>

"I HEARD THAT, FIEND!" Curly yelled. "But you think I'M crazy for simply adoring this beautiful, delicate, sexy, wonderful specimen of a girl? WRONG! Come on Buster, we shall settle this in the parking lot!"  
>"No, don't!" Rhonda butted in, but Patrick just laughed.<p>

"Oh, he wants a fight? He can have a fight." As Patrick cracked his knuckles, Curly ran away teasingly, and before Rhonda or Sid could stop him, Patrick ran after Curly at full speed.

"I'm goin' after them!" Rhonda exclaimed before running after Patrick and Curly, and Sid followed.

"YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, SLOWPOKE!" Curly leered as he led Patrick into the parking lot.  
>"JUST WAIT, YOU LITTLE FREAK!" Patrick yelled, "You're gonna be sorry you ever messed with my sister!"<p>

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Curly cackled, running out into the parking lot. Patrick followed... but suddenly felt something hit him in the back of the head, and his whole world went black as he fell to the ground. Curly turned, and gasped as he saw two of the men from the red car pick Patrick up and haul him away.

"What? That's Rhonda's brother! I can't just let those goons take him!" Curly reached into his pocket for his slingshot, took it out, aimed it... and hit one of the men in the knee. He cried out in pain and fell to the ground, which caused the other man to nearly drop Patrick. But he regained his grip, and turned to see Curly loading up another rock in his slingshot.

"Listen kiddo, you better high-tail it outta here! This is none of your concern!"  
>"OH YES IT IS!" Curly yelled. "YOU'RE MESSING WITH MY GIRL'S BROTHER! And you mess with her, you mess with ME!"<p>

He fired another rock... but missed. The man just laughed, slung Patrick over his shoulder, and ran off while Curly felt around in his pocket for another pebble... nothing. "COME BACK HERE!"

As they ran to the parking lot, Rhonda and Sid heard all sorts of commotion, and feared the worst. She heard what sounded like an adult man yelling, and Curly sounding absolutely furious as he yelled back... and it sounded like it was about Patrick.

"Oh, please, no!" Rhonda thought, "PLEASE, no!" She and Sid raced into the parking lot, to see Curly shaking his fist at a leaving red car.

"NOOO!" Rhonda screamed. "YOU SAID THIS WAS OVER, YOU BASTARDS!" But the car drove off, and Rhonda fell to her knees in horror. Sid put his hand on her shoulder as she started to cry.

"No... please, no... Patrick..."

"Rhonda, I tried to stop them, but they got him!" Curly explained. "But I did manage to get one of the guys with my slingshot, he's over there!" He pointed at the man, who was on the ground, still clutching his knee.

"I... I told him I'd always be there for him," Rhonda sobbed, "And I wasn't... I failed him, you guys! I failed him..."  
>"Rhonda, you didn't fail him!" Sid said, patting her on the back. "We can still get him back! I'll help you! Let's start by calling the cops."<p>

Suddenly, they heard mocking laughter, and turned to see the man that Curly nailed with his slingshot. "Oh, you'd just be wasting your time! Half the cops in this city are on Big Poppa's payroll! And if any honest cops do show up, it ain't gonna be pretty!"

Rhonda wiped her eyes, and stood up. Her heartbreak had given way to sheer anger.

"What do you know about this, you fiend? Talk!" Rhonda yelled as she, Sid and Curly approached the man.

"I- I ain't sayin' jack!" Rhonda then kicked him in the knee where Curly hit him, and he screamed loudly.

"I said talk!" Rhonda repeated. Curly and Sid walked over to the man, cracking their knuckles.  
>"Rhonda, I worked with Big Gino," Sid explained, "I know how to get what I want out of people..." He then pounded his fists together, and turned to the man.<p>

"Listen man, unless you want me to shove my fist up where the sun don't shine, I'd start spilling my guts," Sid said.

"Ha! You think I'm scared of you, kid!"

"Sid, Rhonda, you're not getting anywhere!" Curly butted in. "Let me break his fingers!"  
>"Okay Curly, knock yourself out," Rhonda said. Curly, with a maniacal grin, picked up the man's right hand and held his wrist in one hand and his pinky in the other.<p>

"Okay, you have three seconds to talk, or this finger snaps like a Twinky!" Curly said. "One... two..."

"Okay, I'll talk, I'll talk!" the man said. "Big Poppa wanted us to knock out that Pee-Wee kid and take the little brat to his palace up downtown, to be fed to his sharks."

Rhonda gasped in horror. "That monster... but I paid him! He said it was over!"  
>"Girl, he only did that so you'd go away," the man explained, "When Big Poppa wants somebody dead, they gonna be dead, no matter what!"<p>

Rhonda sighed. "I'll save Patrick... even if it kills me!"  
>"Good luck," the man said. "You've got until sundown. And don't go in through the front doors... he's got armed guards all over the place. Go in around back; there's a backdoor which will lead to an elevator. It'll take you right to Big Poppa's floor."<p>

"Alright, thank you for the information," Rhonda said, and she ran off. Sid ran after her.

"Rhonda, what do you think you're doing?" he asked, confused and worried. "And who is Big Poppa, anyway?"  
>"He's a crime boss who killed Patrick's parents, and now wants him dead," Rhonda said with a scowl. "I swear, I'm gonna make that fat creep wish he was never born!"<p>

"Wait a minute," Sid said. "You're seriously going to sneak into some crime boss' place, that's full of armed guards... all by yourself, without the cops?"  
>"Pretty much," Rhonda said. "I don't trust the cops; I've gotta do this myself."<br>"But what about your parents?"  
>"Mommy and Daddy don't need to know!" Rhonda said. "Besides, they're at some fancy gala or something all night tonight."<p>

"Rhonda... there's NO way I'm gonna let you do this," Sid said sternly. Rhonda stopped for a moment and glared at him.  
>"Not without me, anyway," Sid added. "I'm going with you."<br>"But Sid, it's dangerous!" Rhonda exclaimed. "I don't want you to get hurt!"  
>"And I don't want you to get hurt," Sid countered. "No matter what, there is no way you're gonna do something this dangerous, and honestly kind of crazy, without me."<p>

"Alright," Rhonda nodded, and she hugged him. "Thank you, Sid."  
>"No prob," he said as he hugged her back. "Now let's go!" They started to run off, but...<p>

"A-HEM! Forgetting someone?"

Rhonda and Sid turned to see Curly standing there with his hands on his hips. "You're gonna need someone who can make the insurmountable surmountable, and I'm your man."

"Curly, forget it," Sid said. "No offense, but you'll just screw it u-"  
>"Wait," Rhonda said. "Curly freed all the animals from the zoo! Remember? He could be of help." Curly's face lit up as Rhonda actually praised him for once.<p>

"So... I'm in?"  
>"You're in, Curly," Rhonda said. "Now come on, we gotta get to my place!"<p>

Rhonda, Sid and Curly ran up to the front door of the Lloyd house, and Rhonda unlocked it with her keys and ran up to Patrick's room. She looked under his bed, saw his paintball gun, and grabbed it - it was fully loaded. But she couldn't help but notice a folded-up piece of paper on his bed. Out of curiosity, she opened it.

It was a crayon drawing of her and Patrick hugging and smiling, with "I love my sister" written on top.

Rhonda could feel tears welling up in her eyes... but quickly got herself together and focused that feeling towards rescuing him... and making Big Poppa pay, no matter what. She folded the piece of paper back up, set it back where she found it, and walked back out into the hall where Sid and Curly were waiting.

"A paintball gun?" Sid asked. "Oh well, better than nothing. So, we ready?"

"No, I just need to do one last thing..." Rhonda walked into her bedroom, sat in front of the mirror, and grabbed a tube of lipstick.

"Rhonda, are you putting on lipstick?" Sid asked in disbelief.

Rhonda opened the tube up, and used it to apply two red stripes under her eyes and across her cheeks, like a football player's eye black. She then turned to Sid.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Okay, cool," Sid said, "Now let's hustle!" Rhonda and Sid ran out of the house, and Curly followed them, pumped up - not only was he hyped about the mission, but he had finally been in Rhonda's bedroom. He wished it had been at a better time, but he wasn't complaining.

Sid couldn't believe he was doing this - a full-blown crime lord was a little bigger than dealing with Big Gino. But there was no way he was going to let his girlfriend take on such a huge situation by herself.

As for Rhonda... she was terrified by the whole situation, and felt a big guilty for dragging Sid and even Curly into it... but nothing was going to get between her and her brother.

NOTHING. 


	11. End of the Line

Chapter 11: End of the Line

Big Poppa took a huge chug of his Cuban cigar as he looked over Patrick, who was ranting and raving.

"You fat jerk! You said this was over! My sister paid you off!"  
>Big Poppa just chuckled. "So? I lied! Time to pay your debt... by bein' my fish food!" He motioned over to his aquarium, where the tiger sharks were swimming inside.<p>

"You wouldn't!" Patrick exclaimed.  
>"Well, I would, you little prick," Big Poppa sneered. "You got until sundown to think about how you wronged me. No one can save y'all now!"<p>

As Rhonda, Sid and Curly ran down the street, Curly held his hand up as they came to an alley. "Let's stop in this alleyway, guys. I've got weapons stashed in there from when the neighborhood was gonna be torn down! I have stuff in there that could take down a bulldozer!"  
>"Okay, but we can't stop for long," Rhonda said. She and Sid followed Curly into the alleyway, where he ran over to a nondescript dumpster. He pulled over a concrete block to step on so he could reach the lid, and opened it up to reveal a stash of bows, arrows consisting of corn holders attached to sticks, dynamite, tire popper strips, paintball guns, and a few dodgeballs.<p>

"Whoa!" Rhonda exclaimed as she and Sid looked into the dumpster, "Where did you get this stuff?"  
>"I have my ways, sugar," Curly said. "Now come on, take whatever you want and let's get going!" He grabbed a few sticks of dynamite and shoved them in his pants, and grabbed a bow and a quiver with some corn holder arrows. Sid grabbed a paintball gun, and Rhonda took two jars of ammo and put them in her pockets. The trio then ran back out into the street.<p>

"Curly, were you gonna start World War III against those bulldozers?" Sid asked incredulously as they ran.  
>"Pretty much," Curly said nonchalantly.<br>Sid couldn't help but chuckle. "Man, you are crazy... hey Rhonda, how far are we?"  
>"Not too far," Rhonda said, "If we keep running, we'll make it!"<p>

Rhonda, Sid and Curly kept running along the sidewalk, ignoring the strange looks from passersby and keeping an eye out for cops - they would surely be interested in why three kids were running down the street armed to the teeth. But soon, Rhonda stopped and held her hand up as they reached a corner.

"Okay, it's right around this corner," Rhonda said, "But we've gotta take the back door... and I imagine it's right down this alley." She led them into an alleyway, looking warily around for any of Big Poppa's henchmen, and eventually came to a steel door next to a dumpster.

"Alright, this has got to be it," Rhonda said. She tried the door, but it didn't budge.

"Hold on Rhonda," Sid said as he dug around in his jacket pocket, "I've got a lock-pic-"

But suddenly, Rhonda gave the door a strong kick and sent it flying open. She turned to Sid and, despite the grimness of the situation, smirked. "You were saying?"  
>"...Or, we could go in like that," Sid said. "Yeah."<br>"C'mon, let's go!" Rhonda, Sid and Curly headed into the room, which was a fairly ordinary storage room that was full of unused neon signs, boxes of various odds and ends, a suspicious looking storage locker... and an elevator on the other end of the room. Rhonda, Sid and Curly ran inside it, and Rhonda pressed the buttons to take them up to the top floor. The elevator hummed to life, and surprisingly didn't play elevator muzak as it took the trio to the top.

Rhonda gave a heavy sigh. "Now, I gotta warn you guys... we're about to go in hard. We've got paintball guns, and they've got actual guns... and he's got at least twenty guards in there, last time I was there. It's pretty much a suicide mission. But damnit... I'm gonna try. If you guys wanna back out, I don't blame you a bit."

Sid wrapped his arm around Rhonda. "Rhonda, I'm not letting you do this alone," he said.  
>"And what kind of man would I be to abandon my beloved Rhonda?" Curly asked.<p>

Rhonda smiled weakly. "Thanks, guys. If we ever get out of this alive, I'll never forget you doing this."

Soon, the elevator stopped and the doors opened, revealing the hallway that Rhonda recognized as being Big Poppa's. She crept out, paintball gun at the ready, and Sid and Curly followed.

"This is it," Rhonda whispered as they crept up to the door of Room 194. "You ready?"  
>"Always," Sid said.<br>"I was BORN ready," Curly added.

Rhonda nodded, took a deep breath and opened the door, and immediately heard Barry White's Sho' You Right playing loud on the sound system. The same guard who had patted her down the past two times came over, looking angry.

"Hey, what are you doing he-"

Before he could finish the sentence, Rhonda punched him in the face so hard that it knocked him out cold. He fell to the ground with a thud, and Rhonda, Sid and Curly could hear activity from around the corner.

"What was that?" a man asked.  
>"Let's go!" another man said.<br>Rhonda and Sid aimed their paintball guns at the corner, and Curly readied an arrow in his bow...  
>"Remember, aim for the head!" Rhonda whispered to Sid.<p>

Just then, two men in suits holding MAC-10 submachine guns came around the corner... only to receive paintballs to the face, and in one's case, a corn holder to the groin. The men held their faces in pain and fell to the ground, and Rhonda ran over and smacked them in the head with the butt of her paintball gun.

"Lights out," Rhonda said, and she peeked around the corner to see the main chamber. She could see alert guards standing at the ready with M16 machine guns, the shark tank... and Patrick sitting at the edge, being watched by Big Poppa.

"The sharks... oh God!" Rhonda gasped in horror, and she flew into a rage and fired off paintballs, hitting three of the guards in the face with multiple paintballs. "I'M HERE FOR PATRICK!" she screamed. "C'MON, GUYS!" Rhonda charged down the hall with Sid and Curly, firing shots at more guards, and as soon as they came into the room, they took cover behind a nearby bar.

"RHON!" Patrick cried excitedly, but Big Poppa smacked him in the head.  
>"Hey, hey, hey... a bunch of kids?" Big Poppa exclaimed. "Boys, air 'em out!"<br>One of the guards looked up at him, shocked. "But Poppa, they're children! I may be a lot of things, but I ain't no child killer!"  
>"But you ARE my soldier, fool!" Big Poppa yelled. "And you'll follow my orders!" Rhonda popped up and fired a few shots at Big Poppa's face... and one of them hit him right in the left eye.<p>

"Aaaaaugh!" the huge man screamed, holding his hand over his eye, "WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS WAITIN' FOR! MURDER THEIR ASSES!"

Reluctantly, the guards aimed their guns... but Rhonda and Sid popped out and shot two them in the face, knocking them down. One of the guards managed to squeeze a few shots off, and Rhonda ducked at the last minute as the bullets went sailing over her head.

"I'M LEAVING HERE WITH PATRICK!" Rhonda yelled, "YOU CAN'T STOP US!"  
>"YEAH, RHON!" Patrick yelled, and ironically added "MURDER THEIR ASSES!"<br>Big Poppa snickered. "Well, we'll just see about that, girl!" One of the guards threw something, and it landed right behind the bar... and to the trio's horror, it was a grenade.

"SPREAD OUT!" Rhonda yelled, and the three ran out of their hiding place, ducking gunfire all the way and found cover as the grenade went off, blowing the bar to pieces. Rhonda hid behind a couch, Sid hid behind a pillar, and Curly hid behind another couch. Curly took out a stick of dynamite and a match, and lit it.

"TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, YOU THUGS!" Curly threw his dynamite over the couch, and it landed right in the middle of the room. The guards freaked out and scattered, but weren't fast enough to escape the explosion. The dynamite exploded, sending several guards flying, and ruining the Italian tile.

It was complete chaos. Guards were firing at the kids' hiding places (somewhat half-heartedly); the room was echoing with gunshots; the song was blaring on a loop; Patrick was cheering for Rhonda, Sid and Curly; and despite his eye injury, Big Poppa was obviously enjoying the violence and was actually dancing along to the music. He then ran into his office, came back with an M16, and started laughing maniacally as he fired down into the room, actually shooting a few of his henchman.

Behind his pillar, Sid popped out and nailed a few more guards in the face before quickly ducking back behind his cover. He looked over to Rhonda's couch to check on her... but Rhonda wasn't there.

As the guards were focused on Sid and Curly, and Big Poppa was focused on nobody in particular, Rhonda was creeping to the stairs leading up to the balcony where Big Poppa and Patrick were. She came up to the stairs, and a guard happened to turn and see her, but she punched him hard in the face before running up the stairs.

Rhonda reached the top of the stairs, and looked around - Big Poppa didn't see her, and was too busy firing wildly into the room. But Patrick saw her, and got a big grin on his face. Rhonda put her finger up to her lips, crept over to him, and untied his ropes. Without saying a word, he gave her the biggest hug she'd ever been given in her life and kissed her on the cheek. They started to sneak away, when...

"Hey, hey, HEY!" Big Poppa yelled angrily at them, "Y'all think you can outsmart ME? Sorry, but that ain't gonna happen!" He aimed his M16 and got ready to fire, but Rhonda threw her paintball gun at him, knocking the M16 out of his hands. She then lunged at Big Poppa, held on to his collar, and started to punch him repeatedly in the face.

"AAAUGH GET OFF!" Big Poppa yelled, "SOMEBODY SAVE THE BOSS!"

"Who?" Sid asked from down below. "All your guys are knocked out cold!" Big Poppa quickly turned to look and saw a quick glimpse of all of his men knocked out cold on the floor, Sid aiming at him, and Curly laughing maniacally, before Rhonda punched him in the face yet again. Each punch felt like a concrete block hitting him in the face - the girl was surprisingly strong - but he managed to throw her off to the floor. But just as Big Poppa was about to walk over to her, Patrick popped up and punched him right in the groin.

"AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! MY BALLS!" Big Poppa bellowed in pain as Patrick ran to Rhonda and helped her to her feet. The two of them exchanged a glance before rushing at Big Poppa and forcing him to the ground... and Sid and Curly came up and helped them hold him down.

"THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!" Big Poppa yelled, "Don Dodda... beated by a bunch of snot-nosed punks?"  
>"Sure looks like it, huh?" Sid said with a confident smirk.<br>"But... I've got money stacks bigger than you!"  
>Rhonda stood up and put her shoe on his neck. "Funny thing is, Patrick and I do, too. See, there's one thing you didn't know about us... we're Lloyds. NOBODY messes with the Lloyds and gets away with it! NOBODY!"<p>

Big Poppa's eyes went wide. "Wait... you must be..."  
>"That's right," Rhonda said. "My name is RHONDA! WELLINGTON! LLOYD! And if you thought - even for a second - that I was gonna let you kidnap MY BROTHER and get away with it... you were dead wrong."<p>

In a rage, Big Poppa threw them off of him and stood up, and grabbed his M16 before they could stop him. With a sick smile, he aimed at them.

"My boys may have been squeamish about killin' children, but-"  
>"Oh, shut up," Rhonda snapped. "Guys, let's kick his fat ass!"<p>

But just then, there was a loud crashing noise, and Big Poppa and the kids turned to see a small army of men in identical camouflage fatigues standing at the entrance, with M16s of their own... and Rhonda, Patrick and Big Poppa recognized one of them as Makaveli.

"YOU!" Big Poppa yelled in rage, forgetting all about the kids.  
>Makaveli just gave him a cocky smirk. "West coast ridah, comin' right behind ya, shoulda' never fooled with MEEEE! LEAVE THE KIDS ALONE BUT OPEN FIRE ON THAT FAT SUCKA!"<p>

As the kids ducked down and Makaveli and his crew started to fire, Big Poppa ran into his office, grabbed more ammo, and walked over to his CD player and took the Barry White CD out.

"I've been waitin' for this for years! This calls for somethin' special!"

He put in a different CD, and the whole penthouse was filled with the sound of Push It To The Limit by Paul Engemann... the Scarface theme song. With a cocky grin of his own, Big Poppa sauntered back out onto his balcony and returned fire as the song blared in the background.

"This is our chance!" Rhonda said, "Let's get out of dodge!"  
>"But where?" Sid asked.<br>"The balcony!" Curly grinned as he pointed to the door leading out to an outdoor balcony overlooking Hillwood, "I've got a tool that'll do just the trick!"

Rhonda, Patrick, Sid and Curly fled the chaotic mix of shouting, gunfire, explosions, and loud 80s music, and ran out onto the balcony. Curly looked around and found a metal staircase leading up to the roof, and backed up... and got a big grin on his face when he saw a helicopter sitting up there.

"Guys, up to the roof!" he exclaimed as he ran up the stairs, "I just got a better idea!"

Rhonda, Patrick and Sid followed him, and saw the helicopter.  
>"Yeah, that's great," Rhonda said, "But.."<br>"But nothing!" Curly laughed as he climbed into the cockpit, "I know how to fly one of these babies! Hop aboard Air Curly!"

Rhonda almost asked how he knew, but quickly decided that she probably didn't want to know, and just climbed into the back with Patrick and Sid. With a huge, crazy smile on his face, Curly fiddled around with the controls, and sure enough, the helicopter whirred to life and they lifted up into the air and away from the tower. As soon as they were a good distance away, Sid gave a sigh of relief, and Patrick grabbed Rhonda in a hug.

"Rhon... you came for me! You kicked butt!"  
>"Hey, what did I tell you?" Rhonda asked. "Did I not tell you that if you ever needed me for anything - anything at all - that I'd be right there?"<br>"Rhon, you're the best sister ever," Patrick smiled as he clung to her. "I don't wanna get too mushy, but I love you so much."  
>"I love you too," Rhonda smiled as she kissed him, and then Sid kissed her.<p>

As Curly piloted the helicopter to their neighborhood (and hummed Ride of the Valkyries the entire time), Rhonda, Patrick and Sid relaxed and looked out their windows. The sun was setting, and Hillwood was lit up in preparation for the night. Gently rolling mountains could be seen off in the distance, and the old FTi building towered not too far from Hillwood.

"Hey, look!" Sid said. He pointed out his window, and Rhonda and Patrick looked to see SWAT helicopters swarming around the tower. And down below, they could make out the flashing lights of police cruisers surrounding the building.

"I just hope they're not on his side..." Patrick said.  
>"We'll see," Rhonda said, "But the point is, you're safe. And if he ever tries anything again... I'll be ready."<p>

"Can we go home now?" Sid asked. "That was crazy! I need to lay down."  
>"I'll join you," Rhonda said with a coy grin.<br>"Oh, Rhon, get your head out of the gutter!" Patrick laughed.

Curly landed the helicopter in an empty, out of the way area, and everyone got out.

"Thanks for flying Air Curly," he grinned, and then laughed proudly. Rhonda then came up to him.

"Curly... I just wanna say thanks," she smiled at him. "We couldn't have done it without you. I think you deserve a little sugar for that." And she kissed him.

"Whoa...I... oh, mama!" Curly stammered with a goofy grin, and actually passed out on the spot.

"Hm... guess he couldn't take it," Rhonda said, when...

"A-hem," Sid said with a teasing grin, "Where's my sugar!"  
>"Right here," Rhonda said, and she grabbed him and kissed him in a passionate embrace. "Now let's get going! And get Curly away from this helicopter!"<p>

After leaving the still-unconscious Curly at his doorstop, Rhonda, Patrick and Sid got on a bus. Sid's was the first stop, and he gave Rhonda another kiss.

"So, see you tomorrow? And hopefully we won't get in any gang wars?"  
>"Right," Rhonda said, "See you tomorrow, Sid."<p>

Sid got off, and Rhonda and Patrick rode until they got to their house. They hopped off, and Rhonda opened the door.

"There you two are!" Buckley said. "That must have been a wild football game - you look like you've been in a war!"  
>"Well, it kinda was," Rhonda said with an awkward grin, and she and Patrick ran upstairs to their bathtubs.<p>

After cleaning up and getting into different clothes, Rhonda and Patrick came back down to the living room and sat down with their parents. They were watching Wall Street on cable, when...

"BREAKING NEWS: Notorious crime lords Caine "Big Poppa" Wilson and Amaru "Makaveli" Bishop were finally arrested this evening, after a violent gang war that rocked downtown Hillwood!" a reporter said. "More on this development to come."

Brooke gasped. "Crime lords... in Hillwood! I thought they were all dead and gone!"  
>"As did I," Buckley added. "I had no idea that such scum was anywhere near our fine city!"<br>Rhonda and Patrick didn't say anything, and just knowingly glanced at each other. But then, a thought hit Rhonda. She stood up and walked over to the mantel, where the old picture of herself and Patrick "hugging" was framed. She couldn't have looked any less comfortable, and Patrick looked like he was about to gag.

"Uh... Mommy? Daddy?" she asked. "Is it alright if we take this picture again? Things have kind of... changed."  
>Buckley smiled. "I'll get the camera, dear." As he got up and headed off to get the camera, Patrick hopped out of the chair and walked over to Rhonda, and looked at the picture.<p>

"Ugh! That's not us at all!"  
>"Well, that's about to change," Rhonda said with a smile. Buckley came back with the camera, took the lens cap off, and got ready to take a picture.<p>

"Okay... think of Aspen!"

Patrick turned and wrapped his arms around Rhonda, and she did the same to him - due to the height difference, she had to bend down a little to hug him. Buckley then took the picture, and got a big smile on his face.

"That was perfect!" he beamed. Brooke came over and saw it, and nodded with a smile.  
>"You two are just so adorable together."<p>

Rhonda and Patrick walked over at saw it, and smiled.  
>"MUCH better," Rhonda grinned.<p>

The next Sunday, Rhonda and Patrick were watching the news. Helga was coming over for dinner, and Rhonda had decided to invite Sid and Curly, too. Buckley and Brooke were cooking in the kitchen.

"...of the most notorious crime lords in Hillwood history, Wilson, who also went by the nicknames "C-Notes" and "Big Poppa", has been found guilty of 500 murders, 200 attempted murders, racketeering, illegal gambling, drug running, tax evasion, and illegal ownership of exotic pets... promptly sentencing him to death row."

"Serves him right," Rhonda said. "Well, Patrick, looks like your parents have been avenged."

"Yep," Patrick said. "But... you know what, Rhon?"  
>"What?"<br>"This is gonna sound horrible... and I can't believe I'm saying it... but I'm sort of thankful I became an orphan."  
>Rhonda's eyes went wide. "Are you kidding?"<br>"Nope," Patrick said. "Otherwise, I never would have met you."

This hit Rhonda like a sack of bricks. He loved her so much, that he was glad that he became orphaned because it led to him meeting her? He loved her THAT much?

"Well... thanks," Rhonda said, shakily. "I'm... I'm glad I met you, too."  
>"Yeah," Patrick said. "Hey Rhon... are you alright? You look like you're about to cry."<br>"No, I'm fine," Rhonda said, "Just fine."  
>"Alright, if you say so," Patrick said, when the doorbell rang. Rhonda and Patrick got up to get it, and opened the door to see Helga, Sid and Curly standing there.<p>

"Hi, guys!" Rhonda grinned, "Come on in!" She gave Sid a hug and kiss, gave Curly a hug (which nearly made him pass out... again), and gave Helga a hug (much to her surprise). "We're gonna have a great time tonight."  
>"Rhonda... thanks for doing this," Helga said. "Bob and Miriam are at it again, and I needed a break."<br>"The pleasure's all mine," Rhonda said, when Brooke came out of the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready!"

And as everyone headed into the dining room, Rhonda looked back at the new picture on the mantel of herself and Patrick hugging, and smiled. 


End file.
